Monday, April 17, 2006

get in where you fit in

at 9 p.m. on saturday, easter wasn't looking very promising.
church was shortened to give more time with families for those who have them and was earlier in the day, which meant that i would be back home with nothing to do before i usually went to church.

it looked to be a long day.


dinner invitations came in.
church that morning was really great.
oh, why do i fret?

i had an easter dinner that included an easter egg hunt and a friend asking me if she could practice more self-defense techniques on me [this had happened earlier this year]. that she reminded me how such a gesture shows the trust she has in me made me willing to help; when she started looking around the room for a space large enough, i began to wonder what the worth of this 'trust' really was.

she decided that the deck out back was appropriately spacious and that nothing was in danger of getting broken.
as everyone gathered around, she lay on the ground and told me to sit on her, like i was trying to take her keys.

i don't know much about the psyche of a predator, but tackling someone and then sitting on them isn't the first thing i imagine when trying to get someone's keys.
i cautiously sat on her, feeling awkward as she reassured me that she trusted me.

ok.

i pretended to strangle her as commanded, and in a flurry of motion reminiscent of a feral attack on the serengetti, i found myself on my back with her about to kill me.

that was really cool!
everyone clapped and i lay there in amazement.

we had her try it again with a bigger guy [i'm not really of prime mugger build] and, defying the laws of physics, she threw him off her and on his back without any problem.

we got a quick lesson on how to do this, and now i plan to walk home at nights down dark roads in the nerdiest way possible with $20 bills hanging out of my pockets, just hoping someone will knock me down and try to strangle me.

she also told me to attack her from another way, only for me to get kicked in a leg nerve, elbowed in the stomach, my shin broke, and then she paused, summoning some inner power, and backhanded me in the face.
trust between friends is wonderful.


then i had another dinner at my sister's.
in a way, i'm getting a little tired of doing everything with my sister--i am looking to expand my circle of friends. i do not plan to date her roommates and in that sense things feel kind of stagnant sometimes.
but i am good friends with everyone in her apartment and they are all great and wonderful people [this includes two fringe members--not officially living there, but roommates by all accounts]. in a few weeks, everyone in 326 is going their seperate ways; thus it was great to spend the evening with them, even if becky wasn't there for much of the time.


throughout another great dinner, i:
  • learned that both the european and chinese zodiacs show that i am fated to be friends with one of the girls [and we have hit it off really well--that she is of the same sign as other girls i have been good friends with makes me wonder if astrology may have something to it....]
  • saw yet another friend and tried to talk her into giving me piano lessons [since i can't find anyone to teach me the accordion]
  • helped make a bunny cake
  • told plenty of stories and laughed a lot
  • took pictures as appropriate
  • dyed easter eggs--i don't much care for the speckling trend this year--vinegar dyes are where it's at, in my opinion
  • told more stories and laughed more
  • further discussed plans for a trip to vegas in a few weeks [now that becky isn't going to ghana this summer, we are going just about everywhere else]
  • taught several people how to tie a bowtie [my pink bowtie received more compliments than all my other bowties combined]
  • developed some sort of game involving a crystal ball
  • and in a moment that epitomized the holiday, we broke out in an energetic and spontaneous performance of 'moses supposes.'
now you can't beat that with a stick.

2 comments:

Em said...

Jeff someday I'm going to learn to play the Accordion too.... but you're right there is a mad shortage of teachers. Does the guy who plays at Ottavios on Friday nights teach lessons?

L'Afro said...

Okay, I don't know if I ever told you my stories of beating up on several middle-aged policeman for my self-defense final, but your story made me laugh out loud. A lot. Tell that girl that I give her mad props.