Tuesday, May 16, 2006

dead man's party

do you ever wonder what your funeral will be like?
who will be there? what will they say?
will they get the facts about your life correct?

death has never really been a big deal for me. perhaps that is easier to say because i have never lost anyone especially close to me, but in the big picture, it really isn't that bad. the afterlife is really a pretty good place, and, although it is quite sad and hard that we most likely won't see those we love for the rest our mortal sojourn, we will see them again, and that will be pretty awesome.

for those reasons and more, i really don't want my funeral to be a sad event. i'm sure it will, as is natural, but i would really like it to be more of a hawaiian themed gathering. maybe that's not the best choice, since a scandinavian-minnesotan is roughly the antithesis of polynesia, but i really like the idea of people wearing hawaiian shirts to my funeral.

i would like there to be a dance, karaoke, and people sharing stories about the funny or dumb things that i did. laughter is a much better way to say goodbye, rather than somber pyre with heads bowed as if my life were some sort of tragedy. i would much rather everyone getting excited about the whole thing:

'are you going to jeff's funeral?'

'yeah, everybody's coming; it's going to be awesome!'

who could ask for more?


Em said...

Well the grief is natural and an automatic physiological response, so it can't be helped. But I've definitely seen funerals that are more celebratory than others. I recommend you write out explicit requests for your funeral and make it known where they are written. Not only are you more likely to get what you want, but you will save some grieving person a lot of short-notice planning. I re-write my funeral program requests about once every 2 years. Great fun!

-->jeff * said...

well, mle, now you have curious as to what your funeral requests are...

L'Afro said...

You really ought to listen to Bill Cosby's comments on funerals--they sound a lot like your plans. It's a little macabre, though...

Tim said...

I've noticed at funerals, no matter what kind of person they were, people always say how great they were and how they "always brightened everyone's day".
That's a bunch of crap. I want people to remember me for who I really was, not for some false "must be nice" thing. It's why I make sure I've got at least a few people who I've promised will say "yeah, he was alright, but he was big jerk sometimes, too" at my funeral.
I think honesty is the best way to go.
And I will totally wear a hawaiian shirt to your funeral, given you die before me.

Em said...

Well you know, as funerals go...

I'd list who I'd like to have speak (people who I know can pull off public speaking without being too gushy... and who are close enough to me to be honest, but also removed enough from me to not turn their talk into a tearfest).
And also my musical-number preferences... for example nothing with a De-Azevedo attached to it will be allowed.
When I was in the 9th grade my funeral requests for music were entirely Enya - that would have been interesting, no?

What can I say, event planning is in my blood. I'd hate to think my funeral could end up all botched up when I can do something about it now.