looking back at me

my sister and i have developed a strong habit of writing letters to one another, strengthened especially during the times when one of us what out of the continent. i save my e-mails, as i never kept much of a journal until about a year ago. these letters served as my personal record, but with a second point of view--there are commentaries on the other's writings and musings. when becky came home from brazil, i printed off the collection that had accumulated over the last three years or so; it totaled roughly 750 pages.
today i came across my copy of the tome when i was cleaning my room.
at the expense of finishing my taxes, i sat down and read for an hour or so.

records are amazing. there is so much i forgot, so many incidents and emotions that had either severely faded in my memory or had been lost all together. i was surprised to see how often the same questions and frustrations seemed to come up, and much more frequently than i remember. it was sometimes embarassing to see myself worried over a problem that was not even worth mentioning one week later; certainly, it is much easier to see the big picture when it is further behind me. as personal history repeats, the past provides answers for the future as well. one heck of a piece of personal history, to be sure.