Tuesday, February 21, 2006

the slumber of feelings that have died

'i am a rock' is one of my favorite songs. and one of my most beloved to sing in the car.
conversely, techno is a nice accent to driving at night.

i spent a considerable percentage of my activities today with my car. first was $X at jiffy lube something called 'safety and emissions' testing. i read a chapter or two in a book i am reading that is the closest thing to a novel that i have read in a long time while waiting, only to have the doctors come out and tell me that i have a healthy baby honda. i really do love my little car. then it was off to the dmv to take a number and wait. when they called #454, i talked with the helpful public employee and gave him the jumble of papers, praying i didn't need to go get something else signed [especially since the required signers probably live in minnesota]. but it all went fine, and my car has now lost it's minnesotan identity. a bit of me comes off with those plates.
but i am not one to give up all character, and paid the extra $30 to the humane society to get a cartoon cat and dog on my plates.

$30 can be a productive amount of money. amazon sells a 'fox studio classics' dvd set that includes 'all about eve' [said to have some of the best dialogue in history], 'a gentleman's agreement' [cary grant is always a winner], 'how green was my valley' [the movie that beat 'citizen kane' for best picture], and, the reason to buy the set, 'sunrise'. these's aren't some 'freeze-dried taster's choice' editions [5 points if you know that reference], but come with beautiful transfers, commentaries, deleted scenes, and more. how much for those four? $24. but since amazon offers free shipping after $25, i threw in a $7 martin scorsese movie ['kundun']. the grand total for those five somehow came in under $30.
you can't beat that with a stick.

i have an unproductive habit of playing solitaire on my computer, which i blame on jack from many years ago. the catch is that it is very, very difficult for me to stop until i win. sometimes i have to work for a long time before i have any success [this has led to several late nights]. but lately i have been winning my first or second games. i don't know if i am doing anything different, or if that is simply the way the fates flow.
he that hath ears, let him hear.

i started this blog because i really liked emily's daily musings on the mundanities of her life [i am also continually horrified to hear what it is like to be pregnant as well]. there was nothing outwardly cool about what she was doing [driving to work, working, and driving home seems to be the main plot], yet her outlook was really fun to read.
'if it's fun to read, it must be fun to write', i reasoned, and thus began my personal opus. while the scort has suggested i do more than that [and a good idea, hence the 'sunrise' review, etc.], i have been encouraged by the positive responses overall. jon commented on how one's personal mundane can seem just that, yet reading the balanities of others can be engaging material.
kind of cool, really.

that i have an outlet in which to create is surprisingly refreshing, and is something i continually think about and fuss over more than almost any graded school project. there is an additional infusion of validation from the knowledge that people read it. the thrill of live theatre, i suppose. what is odd is that i don't know who reads it. i know emily checks this daily, as does laurie, but apart from the posting-comments, it is easy to forget that others do read this.
such thinking leads one to wonder, how many people do read this? emily has promoted this on her site before [you can read more about her at readyformycloseupmrdemille.blogspot.com], which has brought a few kind people who were probably shocked at what they saw, and my profile had 52 views last time i checked [though have seen others that are over 1,000].
good for you.

finally, lest i be one to refuse the blunt command from a reader, here is what was on my mind before i awoke today:
i think i was with my tma 285 class [production: intermediate]; i don't remember the other half dozen students, but tom russell was the instructor. we were in the conference room area of a hotel, entering a smaller room that held about fifteen chairs. george and laura bush were in there to speak to us and were standing in the front of the slightly dim room. tom stood in the back while the students took seats among the few rows of chairs; i was sitting in a chair down in the front of the room, next to the wall on the left. as the bush's were talking about whatever, i got bored and found things to be much more interesting if i turned myself upside down, so that my back was on the seat and my feet could point high into the air. tom chided me for being rude, and i suppose it was, but as my head hung upside down, i noticed that 'the godfather part II' was just beginning on the tv across from me. it was at the part where they are in the open parking lot of some old factory [like the one from 'joe vs the volcano'] and the whole scene has a dusty brown look. i found myself standing in the parking lot as al pacino drove around in an old maroon geo metro. he looked mad and was looking for someone, i think, but then, he's always like that. i stood there, watching him drive around with that look.
i think i was holding a gun.

2 comments:

Em said...

Wow Jeff, that's very nearly non-sensical enough to be a pregnant dream. Happy to have inspired for you a creative outlet that doesn't involve dragging dozens of people out on a weekend to make a movie that costs all your money to make.... but you can keep doing that too.

-->jeff * said...

i often had a hard time realizing how people could look at film making as an outlet for creative expression. tawnya was once telling me how scriptwriting helped her relax; i looked at her with disbelief and jealousy, as lighting and shooting did nothing for me but raise my stress through the roof [this was around the time we were making jihong's movie]. not that 'the dog' was any more cathartic.

but near the end, when we were doing 'how much land' and 'tugboat', it had got to the point where it was fun and i could create in addition to hurry and appease the a.d.

as you said, blogging does not demand the thousands of dollars, hours, and headaches that come from production. there is something to be said for the placid.
but it can't replace the feeling of a light meter and a couple of kinos.