my first as a first

being the head of the camera crew has really taught me a lot and given me even more to think about. not that i have a whole lot of time to ponder management philosophies when i'm setting up the camera, changing lenses, getting focus marks, rehearsing, double-checking all of the above before we roll, triple-checking again, and trying to pin clothespins on the back of paul the dolly grip without him noticing, but i do have some time to think.
while it's something that i've known since before i downloaded my first roll of 16mm film, the fact that the camera crew is the most crucially delicate part of the crew has been reinforced upon my mind lately. i secretly believe that i have a certain amount of natural talent for judging distance and focus, and overall the focus pulls on this show haven't been too hard. nevertheless, if i get my job wrong, it can negate how well everyone else may have done their job. the same goes with remembering to always set the exposure, tightening every screw, and ensuring that the camera is running safely and cleanly at all times.
while i'm generally enjoying this growing experience, it does bring with it it's share of 'doing i really know what i'm doing?' moments.
one thing i never realized before, too, is how the first a.c. is actually the head of the camera department. technically the director of photography is, but in reality he's kind of his own entity. i work very closely with him, but the great bulk of the camera operations go through the first a.c. it's nice to have a crew to work with [and really nice not to have to load], but they're very new, so there's a lot of checking up on them, explaining how to better do things, and keeping an eye on them along the way.
i like it. there's just a lot to handle.