landmark moments

lds missionaries serve for two years (the guys do; the girls are out for 18 months).  at first, it can seem like a daunting time, then it's soon been a whole year.  about three months from the end, you get your "trunky papers", the plans on getting home.  it can be a sobering time, realizing that this singular and defining era is fast drawing to a definite close.

i was homesick for the first part of my time in japan, and so allowed myself little time to seriously consider returning home (i took the requisite "surprised" photo with said papers when they came).  i'd heard the idea of reading all 138 sections of the doctrine and covenants in reverse order when you had 138 days remaining, and so counted out the days so that i could read the whole book in the remaining time, but, apart from that, i did not look to the finish line but continued to keep the pace.

soon i could no longer count months, but weeks.  and, soon, it was only days.  on the very last night before my time was over and i would return to the mission home in kobe, my companion and i biked down to the shotengai, a sort of covered outdoor mall, going out to do the most basic and iconic missionary work, out talking with people on the streets; one last time.

i would have loved to find that one "golden" person that night.  to give away a book of mormon to someone who, i would found out in a letter a few months later, read it and joined the church.  but the truth is, no one would talk to us.  we were out there for a few hours, talking with whomever would stop, asking them what they knew about the meaning of Christmas (it was just a week before the holiday)' telling them we had a message that would change their life if they would give us only five minutes; working just as we had worked every other day.

and nothing.

no books.  no numbers.  nothing.

sure, it would have been cool find someone on the very last night of my two years (and another missionary from my group did have such an experience), but it didn't bother me.  i realized that my mission was not based upon the success of my last night.  that the meaning of all the work that i did was not contingent upon that one day, but, rather, every day that i had worked.  the sweetest and best and most memorable did not necessarily come on notable days; i don't think my 6-month, one-year, or 18-month days were inherently better than other days.  instead of forcing the fun and favorite memories to come at pre-arranged times, i had a library of experiences that had happened when they happened.

and so it is with posts, too.  i'll look back over the year and see which ones rose to be the best, likely growing from the occasion, rather than being forced into greatness.

like the young boy, russell, comments in up when speaking of the few times he has had with his father, "i guess it's the regular stuff i remember best."

thanks for reading my first 400 postings.

profundity

i haven't taken much time to write lately.  i've wanted to share my joy of my computer graphics class (which is where i've been spending as much of my free time as possible) and to launch a secondary blog (inspired by my boredom during monsters vs. aliens), but i haven't had that fire inside that compels one to write (that compels me, anyway).

i was about out the door (to the beloved byu labs) when i took a moment to read em's latest post, a moment of insight from her busy life.

i loved it.

if you have a moment, i'd like to recommend it.

blogger tells me this is my 399th published post; what do i do for number 400?

the biggest ball of twine in minnesota

we took a fair amount of family car trips when i was younger.  at least, it seems like we did.  apart from the annual trek down to grandma's for either thanksgiving or Christmas, the only other notable car trip i can remember at the moment is the drive out to washington state for a family reunion.  but, heck, i have trouble remembering my college years sometimes.   wait, that makes it sound like i was a drunken frat boy; let me rephrase that: i have a hard time separating college memories.  which may be due to all the apple beer we drank....

wherever those car trip memories come from, attached to them are a pile of cassette tapes.  because i was a bit older, i sat up front with my dad, while mom usually stayed in the back with becky and tim (they got very good at playing travel guess who?, and would do two or three people at once; that always impressed me).  i also seem to remember me usually choosing the music.  whether this is due to: a. me being the oldest, b. me being up front, or c. me having a poor memory of this whole era in general, i know not.  all the same, when i wasn't consumed with final fantasy legend 2 on my gameboy, we cycled through a trusty collection of tapes.  the three that come to mind at the moment are the ghostbusters 2 soundtrack, an oldies rock 'n' roll compilation with a neon jukebox on the cover, and my dubbed copy of the uhf soundtrack.  as i type that, i already want to call my mother and commend her for her job-like patience in hearing the same inane-songs again and again across much of the western united states (a similar scenario occurred when they drove me out to the mtc years later, only this time it was the CATS soundtrack with which my father and i were obsessed).

while the uhf soundtrack was, as the title suggests, the accompanying music to "weird" al's under-appreciated  masterwork, it also contained a handful of songs not in the movie.  these songs, like all of his oeuvre, are novelties, genius to anyone under fourteen, mildly amusing the first time to everyone else.  this includes parodies like "spam" (before i had ever heard "stand" or even heard of r.e.m.) and original gems like "attack of the radioactive hamsters from a planet near mars."  the last song on side two was "the biggest ball of twine in minnesota", a ballad wherein al and his family use their annual family trip to visit the eponymous string ball.

today i was playing mah-jong when my phone rang.

"jeffrey, guess where i am!"

now, my sister and i call each other when we're on top of mountains; it's just what you do.

dad wasn't as easy to guess, although my first two guesses were logical, considering the circumstances.  i'm sure there are so some father-son teams out there who would call when one of them is being welcomed at buckingham palace, waiting to be seated at a fine restaurant in paris, or just leaving a meeting with the board of trustees at harvard.  and i'm sure that's wonderful.

i first suspected texas, in reference to pee-wee herman proving he's on the phone in texas in pee-wee's big adventure (yes, nearly all of the in-jokes with my illustrious father are rooted in campy 80's movies).  in fact, it was my plan to call him and then actually holler, "the stars at night are big and bright!" when i was in texas for allison's wedding last summer, but completely forgot.

my second guess was that he was at the alamo (again, pee-wee).

"i'll give you a guess," said my dad.  "'weird' al."

and then i knew it: 

my dad was at the biggest ball of twine in minnesota.  

it was probably the coolest thing of the whole week, and today was only sunday.  i told him to take a picture, even if he only had his cell phone camera.  i don't think he'd ever used it before (his finger's in part of the shot) but it would be a tragedy not to have a memory of the occasion.  

according to wikipedia, it is 13 feet in diameter, weighs 17,400 lbs., and is the largest ball built by one person (a man who wrapped for four hours a day for 23 weeks).

seriously cool.

and that's when i knew...

i think it was when natalie wished jack a "happy restoration of the aaronic priesthood" that i knew she was the right girl for him.  

i'm pretty sure he already knew it.

for the love of the game

jack and i are getting better, i'm loving it more, and real tennis is a heck of a lot more fun than wii tennis.

it's also awesome to hear "what's the frequency, kenneth?" on the radio.

we close our eyes

at heart, i'm a hopeless romantic. i've never had that professionally diagnosed, but i'm pretty sure i know myself. but, lately, i've wondered if that romantic really is starting to lose hope: i skip past "the luckiest" when it comes on my playlist; i no longer look wistfully at my sleepless in seattle dvd in hopes of having someone to watch it with.
what happened to me?

tonight i was asked why i loved wall-e so much and i had to think about that for a moment. anyone who's been around me in the past nine months has heard my rantings of it being the greatest thing since blah blah blah, but i had to really think for a moment why, at the heart of it all, did i love it.

artistry, beauty, and humor aside, at the core of it is a love story that i love.  a tractor and an ipod fall in love, and that's told in a way that makes it universal. when wall-e first sees eve power on, when she flies around with such grace and beauty, when his eyes focus on the most sublime thing he has ever seen, that is when i fall in love with the movie, and that is why i love the movie.

coming home from dropping off my date this evening, i was thinking about that scene, and thought of my other similarly potent scene, the "ruby tuesday" scene in the royal tenenbaums. i just melt.
i'm still a sentimental guy, and that's a comfort.

i turned up the volume to the point of the speakers starting to fuzz and sang ben folds' "landed" with all my heart as i drove past years of memories on ninth east.

the greater good

i've really enjoyed my "intro to animation" class.  i feel a bit out of my league, as some of these kids can name off animators like i can list cinematographers, and i'm not really in love with all animation.  granted, i got a looney toons dvd set for Christmas and love them as much as i loved watching them on saturday mornings, but they never really inspired me to make a career choice.  but it's been fun, even with just two days of class, to learn different rules of animation.  i love sitting at the light table, with my stacks of paper all lined up, drawing a bouncing ball.  we also have to keep a weekly sketchbook, a responsibility i like largely because i'm so fascinated with others' sketchings and want to make mine look like theirs.  two hours at the bean museum after the first day of class left me with little more than determination to stick with it in the hopes of getting better.

i hung out at the mall one night, trying to draw people without freaking them out, hoping to master the art of staying out of "stalker distance" without being so far away that it was impractical to draw people.  kristin gave me some good tips on how to get away with everything (i'm openly envious of her sketchbook), but plans to spend saturday the mall were altered and i went to the byu library, instead.

three of our week's sketchbook pages had to come from some figure drawing handouts.  as i began reading about the different muscles of the chest, i soon felt inadequate to even pick up my pencils.  i knew enough of how complex the human body was to know i didn't know much, and, the more i learned, the more i felt like i shouldn't be drawing yet.  if i had the time, i would definitely take an anatomy class; i like to know every muscle, instead of just drawing what i think should there.

that's not really an option on a saturday night, although i did learn some about the muscles of the chest and back, and worked very hard to make my drawings as accurate as i could.  and, after six hours, i had three pages i was proud of.

now, six hours for three pages is more than usual.  most of the work is just sketching, which can go much quicker.  and i had fun animating my bouncing ball the night before.  but next i had to animate a flour sack as well as keep up with the drawings.  and i could probably balance this with my computer graphics class.

but i'm only here for seven weeks, and we're already into the second week.  time feels so very short, and the computer class is the number one reason why i'm here, and i committed to invest as much into it as i could.

i thought about it on saturday, thought about it on sunday, and, after my computer class today, knew it was the right choice.  i dropped "intro to animation."  it was for the greater good.

sadly, my animation and sketches won't get graded, which is sad, because i would have liked my teacher's feedback.

instead, i'll show them to you.

interestingly, that blue pencil is, technically, "no-photo blue"....  yeah.

the ball is only 3 seconds long.


i made the right choice: my computer class is pretty much the coolest thing ever. i spent some time in the lab tonight and it already pains me that i'll be out of there in only six weeks. so i'm going to get every bit out of it while i can.

back 2 school

yes, after four years and a bit, i'm back with a byu student id.  it's pretty awesome, really.  when i learned that the 3-D animation world really likes (and needs) nice guys with a real-world understanding of cameras and lenses, i looked around and found that i could come back to byu for the spring.  i signed up for a 3-D computer graphics class, then, deciding that, as long as i'm here i may as well learn as much as i can, signed up for "intro to animation" as well.

i was excited for my first day of school and wore my best clothes: my new vest, nicest jeans, and favorite shoes.

it's a bit of a shift, getting back into the mindset of going to class and doing homework, as well as being a little detached from the student world, as i'll only be here for seven weeks. but i do love the academic environment. i love the light tables we draw on in my animation class, the fact that my teacher worked on "the little mermaid", "beauty and the beast" and "aladdin", and that the computer graphics classroom/theater is decorated with all sorts of amazing designs, storyboards, and concept drawings.

special thanks to kristin for being the right person at the right place at the right time to take my "first day of school pictures."

one-liners

joel posted a list of movie plots boiled down into one-sentence summaries.  they were fun and clever and, at the bottom, he asked for any other suggestions.  my list kept growing so much that i decided to make it into my own posting.

2001: a space odyssey- space program doesn't run mac osx, has to reboot.

about a boy- socially-awkward youth is surrounded by poor role models.

adaptation- repulsive man doesn't finish book assignment.

aladdin- upper-class girl conned by street thug.

amelie- reclusive introvert stalks numerous parisians.

apocalypse now- boat travels through southeast asia; crew meets interesting people.

babel- everyone in the world is sad.

back to the future- anachronous teen steels car, almost destroy space-time, kisses mother.

casablanca- man commits theft, adultery, homicide, befriends police captain.

citizen kane- successful newspaper man loses toy.

close encounters of the third kind- delusional man deserts family, runs to wilderness with single mother.

crash- l.a. is full of racists.

the deer hunter- veteran doesn't want to play game with friend.

the departed- irish men achieve goals through lying, violence; woman perplexed.

doubt- paranoid nun ruins everyone's life.

dumb and dumber- devoted romantic travels cross country to return briefcase.

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind- doctor helps lonely man overcome heartache.

fight club- successful soap company expands interests.

the godfather- old man believes in family, instills values in children.

gone with the wind- high-maintenance girl stops being hungry, man doesn't care.

goodfellas- after thirty years, man leaves friends, attempts career change.

hero- terrorist lies to head of state, is subdued.

kill bill- stubborn woman refuses to forgive friends.

the last emperor- richest kid in the world isn't content.

lean on me- principal abuses students; parents outraged, students happy.

the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe- little girl not afraid of predators.

little miss sunshine- drug-addicted grandfather teaches little girl dance, makes family happy.

the matrix- internet geek uses cheat code in video game.

mr. smith goes to washington- overzealous visitor disrupts congress.

the muppets Christmas carol- lonely british man talks to puppets.

mystery science theater 3000: the movie- aimless man and associates make fun of others.

newsies- street gang attacks local business.

the nightmare before Christmas- foreign celebrity commits kidnapping, identity theft.

ocean's twelve- director promises entertaining sequel, audiences realize they're the ones being robbed.

pulp fiction- stolen briefcase is safely returned, clothing soiled.

punch-drunk love- romantic businessman visits hawaii, doesn't tell sister.

the rocky horror picture show- lost couple makes new friends, learns to dance, tries on new clothes.

the seventh seal- melancholy man plays chess, makes new friend.

shrek 2- fat man intimidated by rich parents, attractive younger man; donkey intimidated by adopted cat.

singin' in the rain- woman is ostracized by friends because she talks differently.

sunrise- man attempts to kill wife, finds marital bliss.

the terminal- confused immigrant accosted by airport official.

there will be blood- oil tycoon attends church.

this is spinal tap- reporter and musician have miscommunication about amplifier.

transformers- import vehicles difficult to control.

uhf- innovative young man runs successful tv station.

up- elderly man kidnaps boy scout, flees country.

x-files: i want to believe- paranoid man disrupts medical research.

keep talking

for millions of years, mankind lived just like the animals. then, something happened which unleashed the power of our imaginations and we learned to talk.

-stephen hawking

i'm comfortable with silences.  like mia wallace, i don't feel the need to continually fill the air with words; it's a special friends with whom you can just sit and be quiet.

but silence does make a lot of people uncomfortable, and i suppose it's good to not let that happen too often in most circumstances.

i am a believer in conversation in life, though.  talking is what keeps the air from going stale in a house, a car ride, an evening out.  not necessarily philosophical musings on existentialism, nor one-word answers lobbed from behind a wall, but simple and honest talking.  it's healthy to a relationship of any kind.  it feels good to talk with someone, and it's not always easy.   but i'm surprised at the differences in environment when words flow back and forth freely.  and i don't exclusively mean telling your innermost thoughts, hopes, and dreams, although i think i once did.

sharing who you are, what you're up to, what you're thinking about.  like flowing water, conversant talking helps our relationship stay fresh and clear.  it keeps us from becoming weird.

i'm not the best at this.  i partially credit my scandinavian heritage for part of it, but also an effort to be a better lister (as opposed to "waiting to talk") and, as a result, preferring to listen to others.  to quote sydney greenstreet in the maltese falcon, "i'm a man who likes talking to a man who likes to talk!"

and then there are times when i won't shut up....

all we need to do is make sure we keep talking.

big ideas in a small theatre

i don't go to plays much; i'm a movie guy.  what's nice about movies is that you don't have to be there at the moment to see it.  unless you're watching touch of evil or blade runner, what you're seeing is pretty much the same thing everyone else saw when it was released, even if it was released in japan fifty years ago (and let's all forget about the "special edition" of the lion king...).

with live theatre, it's much more of a gambit; the second night's performance will be different that opening night's, to say nothing of how a script's production is reinterpreted over the decades.

good cinema is much easier to propagate; thank you, home video and dvds.  good theatre is a little trickier; you kind of have to be there (the 1998 effort to record CATS on video didn't really work).  and i usually don't think of provo, utah, as having good theatre.  of all the plays i saw at byu, only a few were worth getting excited about, my favorite being smart, single guys (written by a student, no less).  i'd happily recommend it to you, but, i like i said, with theatre, you kind of have to be there.  when it's gone, it's gone.

amidst all these obstacles, i saw a really good play this evening.  on center street in provo is the covey theatre, and the main floor auditorium was hosting the miss utah pageant.  upstairs, in a room that was tiny even by "experimental theatre" standards, was a play called every day a little death.  i wouldn't have been there had my friend, who was starring it in, personally invited me.  that seemed to be the case for almost every one of the fifteen people there.  

two people, eight short scenes, one recurring theme: death.  the scenes followed a couple from their first date through their first few years of marriage, each time talking about death.  the writer-director's notes commented that there was no metaphorical death, no poetic death of an ideology or such.  these focused on mortality, the death of the living.  i wouldn't have noticed that decision had it not been pointed out, and i liked it.

that makes it sound morbid or grim, but it wasn't.  these were conversations about the events, the moments or years before or after.  sometimes these seemingly-mundane times can be as defining in our lives as the grand events of birth, marriage, or death.  i like that patient observation.

all of this is great in theory, but it can easily get mired in the actual production.  in that tiny little white room, everything worked.  the set consisted of a couch, a table, and two chairs.  they were rearranged between scenes to create a new environment and each scene's blocking was minimal; the actors mostly stayed in their spot for the time.

that could have been very boring.

it wasn't.

a small theatrical production about a young married couple talking about death on center street in provo: that's ripe for cheesy dialogue.  their discussions were interesting without being forced.  they weren't snappy-witty like everyone in juno, and, thankfully, they weren't trying to be.  it was genuine, not saccharine.  nor did they have screaming tirades of obscenities.  it wasn't an examination of life and death by lacerating humanity to the core.  there were no acts of infidelity, not exclamations of loathing or hatred.  it was two people working through big things and little things.  it generally seemed real, and there was enough hope underlying each situation that you believed one would catch the other when they fell.  

the acting was solid, with the couple giving a dynamic range of emotions that oscillated realistically.  while some scenes were stronger than others, most times, i would soon forget that i was watching a performance, becoming interested in listening in on their conversation and thinking along with them.

it was nice to see something different and something good.

in short, i liked it.

we tennis

cleaning out my hall closet last week, i found a tennis racquet.  my tennis racquet.  i bought it last year, possibly during a momentarily lapse of reason, as my history with organized sports has never been very lasting.  my best friend and i did have several excellent games of calvinball in his back yard, often involving the apple tree.  but the traditional experiences with baseball, basketball, soccer, and even tennis were little more than bored flirtations up through fifth grade, rarely lasting longer than a single season.  after fifth grade, i discovered theatre and that was pretty much my muse from there on out.

i wasn't naturally athletic, but it was almost more of an ideological issue.  just as no man can serve two masters, being good in school and being good at sports seemed fundamentally incompatible, and, given the choice, i  opted for academics.  and so this fallacy, despite being a gross stereotype and having plenty of contrary evidence, existed with me, more or less, through high school.  i loathed gym class and couldn't understand why anyone except refrigerator-shaped guys would take sports as an elective.

there was one moment of anomaly: during my sophomore year, i was friends with several of the school newspaper staff and was approached with the assignment of writing an opinion on why sports are better than academics.  my severely puzzled-look at my friend--whom i knew knew she was asking the wrong guy--elicited the reasoning: anyone who genuinely believed that couldn't write it well enough (her words, not mine).  as such, i had a hey-day with it.  so successful was it that i overheard one girl say, "who wrote this?  the knowledge bowl is going to attack him!"

by high school, it seemed that the die has been cast: if you weren't on the athletic train by  now, it was too late to jump on.  besides, i didn't like competition.  the "i'm better than you and i'm going to hit you harder" mentality seemed (and still does) immature and unappealing.  i was much more of a "let's all work together" team player.   ...which would have obviously been a very good trait for sports.  instead, i was happy throwing myself into math competitions, every theatrical performance i could get, and being captain of the knowledge bowl team.  all of which i was very competitive in, it just didn't seem as barbaric.

looking back now, the only sport that seems appealing was hockey, but, in minnesota, if you don't start by age 5, you may as well move to another state.

the greatest argument against my views was a friend named ashley jensen.   despite having the misfortune of being a boy named "ashley", he excelled in seemingly everything.  he was brilliant in academics and was aiming for med school.  ok, he had glasses and parted his hair; that fits.  he was masterful at the saxophone, seated several chairs up from where jon and i were assigned.  fine- music is arty.  but as we were spending more time talking about religion, he invited me to play tennis.  sure, i "played tennis", which amounted to a couple weeks in a summer activity and those few units in gym class.

at the tennis court, ashley took off his shirt and revealed that he was as physically fit as he was mentally.  our "game" lasted about three serves, at which point he charitably suggested that we just "have fun" hitting the ball back and forth.  i don't remember the whole event last very long.

over the past few years, i've accepted that sports are not the enemy, nor do they have to edge out other aspects of "jeff."  balanced athletics can help other areas of my life.  i like friendly competition.  i took weight training (twice) at byu, without any coercion.  and i liked it.

so, the tennis racquet.  the weather's warming up and i could either say "i should play sometime this summer" or i could go out and actually play next week.  becky and brady are pretty busy with graduating, parenting, and moving, so next on my list was jaime.  i didn't know if she actually played tennis, but she was my best bet.

thankfully, she was up for it and we went out this morning.

you may have noticed from the above story that i've never successfully "played tennis."  i've hit a tennis ball with my dad when i was younger, but an actual game?  no.

so when we were into our third or fourth game this morning, it occurred to me that i was actually playing tennis.   and loving it.  we played for about an hour and a half, and i could've gone for another hour (i think).  my most recent education on scoring comes from playing wii tennis and i can't keep straight the differences between games, sets, and matches, but it was a blast.

so, if anyone out there plays...  ; )

see my vest

a year or two ago, express decided vests should be in fashion again.  maybe they've been around for a while, but the first time i saw them was on a mannequin at express.  and i thought they were awesome.  perhaps it reminds me of buster keaton in some way; i don't know, but i'm a fan of them.  however, the blasted things retail for $87.99, which is way too much for pay for a vest; you don't even get sleeves.

unlike stores that pander to kids with parents' credit cards and so rarely offer sales and clearances, express knows its target market generally pays its own bills and, as such, needs to shop economically.  i don't have to have the newest latest fashions and don't mind waiting for a little season for clothes (although, the day the seventh seal is released on blu-ray, it will be mine).  after a few months, the vests move racks and the price tags are slashed with red once or twice.  coupled with a $20 off card from the mail, and, suddenly, i too can look like a plucky 1920's character.

(the new summer vests look pretty great, too)

i really like my vest!

seven seconds per frame

a few weeks ago i posted my demo reel.  i thought i was pretty much done.  but, bit by bit, i found new ways i could make it better: adding another menu page with more examples; why not make those examples in HD?  maybe i can polish up that menu style?  hmm, if i can make those shots in HD, maybe i can redo the demo reel in HD....

my computer (my blessed, circa-2003 G4 computer) has been compressing my 2 min. 55 second reel all morning and is scheduled to be finishing up about the time movie night wraps this evening (compressing it in standard def took about two hours, but i had to have the h.264 compression).  

on the other hand, it takes pixar six hours or more for one frame.

all in all, i'll be really sad when this is over.  it's been a lot of fun plowing through this, learning how to use the program, realizing what it can do, wondering if i can do something more, and the whole process starting over again.

who knows what the future will bring?

(i just had deja vu as i was thinking of what to title this; sadly, i can't remember what i thought i'd titled it...)

weakend update

as best as i can tell, somewhere around wednesday my chi went defunct.  i don't know whether i'm powered by cold fusion or a hamster or a wheel, but whatever's inside of me slowed down to a 2 and i stopped burning on my own.

i like blogging, but after not taking the time to write about the ducks i saw on tuesday morning, i felt little force behind anything to write.  life has continued on at 24 hours per day, i just haven't had the exuberance that i'm used to.

it's sunday, the start of a new week.  perhaps something will happen that will jump start me, or maybe the tide will simply come in again.

come what may and love it.

when turning the power off, hold in the reset button, or all data may be lost

dragon warrior 3 has always been one of my favorite nintendo games (old nintendo, two-button controller, blow-in-the-cartridge nintendo).  it's what we called a "role-playing game"; usually, you're a knight (or a kid who will become a knight), setting out on a quest--there's always a quest--to destroy some monster who is going to either destroy or rule the world or princess (or both).  often, you will meet other people who will join you on the quest, and you may or may not learn what really happened to your father.  you don't jump on flying turtles, but instead fight monsters in what boils down to a battle of numbers: hit points, magic points, and other nerd goo.  no mushrooms to make you grow, leafs to make you sprout a tail and fly.  instead, you collect weapons, armor, and water toys by visiting village item shops, exploring dungeons, or killing a metal slime.

i love these games and still dust them off with a smile at Christmas time; the blocky graphics and electronic sounds are old friends.  part of the joy of the game is finding every little item; of having maps of the dungeons (or cave or castle or lighthouse) spread out in front of me and making sure i found every treasure chest; of completing every side quest and exhausting every option (which is the same reason why i would mark every "choice" with a bookmark (or my finger) when reading a "choose your own adventure" book).  i like to have everything.

earlier this year i was thinking about this (tim and i went through dragon warrior 2 in two days at the end of the Christmas break) and i realized that, when i turn off the power switch, it's all gone.  no matter how much armor or how many healing herbs i'd collected, none of it exists once i turn it off.  none of it means a thing.

today is easter, the day when rabbits lay chocolate eggs (i've never actually researched it, but that's what i gather from the tv commercials).  today is the day we remember the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  His resurrection is the culmination of His mission in mortality, the glorious finishing of His work that included suffering in gethsemane and crucifixion at golgotha.

His resurrection did not just break the chains of death for Him, but it extended to everyone without condition.  everyone who has ever died will be brought back to life, immortality, because of His resurrection.

my dvd collection, my car, my wall-e bed sheets: when the power is shut off, those are gone.  you can't take it with you.  it doesn't matter what or how much i had.  it's all gone.  

but i am not.  life and family continue.

how scary it would be to wonder if this were all we got; to be afraid of the off switch.

how wonderful to know it's not!  the Gospel is true!

best movie of 2008

tim and i were out running around town on friday afternoon and stopped by wal-mart in search of cadbury cream eggs, the greatest by-product of the commercialization of easter.  while the store did not have any (future searches all over town would similarly be of no avail), we did stop by the "bedding" section, as i realized earlier that day that i have been living on one pair of bed sheets for quite some time now.

tim said he would buy the "super mario 3" hoodie we had looked at at f.y.e. if i bought the sheets.  it seemed like a win-win-win to me....

being that they're disney merchandise, they're about as soft as sandpaper, but i love 'em just the same. when i get married, i'll have to have some "grown-up" bedding, so i'm enjoying my time while i can.

mom, thanks for the easter money.  ; )

spiritual clambake

(sung to the tune of "a real nice clambake" from rogers and hammerstein's carousel)

that was a real nice conference

we're mighty glad we came

the talks we heard were good, you bet

the company was the same

sitting in the conference center yesterday morning, all i could think was, "how cool it art!"  how seriously awesome is it that we have prophets and apostles who continually speak to us, giving us counsel and guidance in this crazy world, and that this occurs twice a year.  and that i had the opportunity to be at the conference center with president monson, his counsellors, and the quorum of the twelve.  truly, it is good for us to be here!

sitting with a group during a talk is interesting, because, so often, the speaker will say something, and we will all go for our notes at the same time.  some phrases stand out as worth writing down.  yet if we all compared notes, we'd all have heard different things.  like my brother said last week, that can only be because the Spirit is talking to each of us.  because it's true.

here's some of what i heard:

elder hales reminded us to say "get behind me, satan", and that there is love, not weakness, in saying "we can't afford it."  sister lifforth noted that often, the most destructive child (and we are all children) needs our love the most; brother neider nudged us that, as holders of the priesthood, the women of the Church should not be the only examples of virtue.  elder packer of the seventy told us to become acquainted with the voice of the Holy Ghost, but that if we have unrealistic expectations of how that revelation will come, we could miss it.  elder christofferson taught that when we have entered into divine covenants, the Holy Ghost will be our guide, our constant companion.  president eyring poignantly said that sometimes, the Lord calls on us to give to others what we hope He will give to us.  

we got to raise our hand in sustaining the leaders of the Church in mark's car, which i think is kind of cool, to be involved no matter where we are.  elder ballard taught that there are many, many questions in our lives, but the most important questions of our eternal lives have answers in the scriptures are words of the prophets.  i didn't take notes for the rest of the afternoon session because i was doing what i could to entertain my nephew, so that his parents could have a few uninterrupted moments to listen and maybe even take notes.  that was marginally successful.

i got to attend the priesthood session back at the conference center with my brother, which was very cool.  speaking in light of the current world situation, elder packer sagely said that we have moved from a generation of ease and luxury to one of hard work and responsibility, adding to take care of our possessions and property, to not be wasteful, and to be content with what we have.  bishop edgley reminded that continued guidance comes through fasting and prayer, while elder costa's talk about our responsibilities to our family, our employer, the Lord's work, and ourselves had so much to take in that all i could write was, "this is a good talk to study."  president uchtdorf cautioned us of focusing on the inconsequential at the expense of the profound, and asked what could be accomplished if we put away childish things?  president eyring reminded us that there are so many around us in need and danger, explaining that spiritual wounds are not easily visible except with spiritual eyes, and that we are to do for others, as best we can, what the Lord would do.  president monson told us to "be ye ready always" with the comforting reminder that this is not a time for fear, but a time for faith. 

this morning, president uchtdorf reminded us that the world is  continually offering up solutions for the problems we face, and, while some of them may contain elements of truth, only the Gospel can give us the lasting change we are seeking.  elder anderson wisely noted that we are nobody, and if we ever forget it, the Lord will remind us (and it won't be pleasant).  elder snow taught us to face a world of negativity with faith to go forward; to be of good cheer and to laugh.  sister thompson reminded us that at some time in our lives, each of us will be poor (in some way) and will need the help of another.  elder holland spoke to any who feel alone, encouraging us that, even though Jesus pleased His Father in every way, He, too, was left totally alone for a time.  but He held on.  He stood by us, and we need to stand by Him.  president monson spoke as the prophet to the world, telling us that putting the Gospel of Jesus Christ at the center of our lives will give us the strength to move on.

this afternoon, elder oaks described the contrasts between those who give selfless service, particularly in the temple, and those who live of the "me generation" with feelings of entitlement.    elder bednar spoke of what it truly means to take upon us the Name of Christ, an event that is expanded through the work in the temple.  elder stevenson encouraged us to make our home a Temple, reminding that we are never lost when we can see the Temple.  elder teixeira warned us about our conscience becoming dull and losing its guidance.  elder watson testified of the wisdom of prophets, reminding that their counsel may sometimes conflict with our political views or social life, but when we follow them, the evil around us will dispel.  elder perry cautioned us not to be missing in action when a friend, neighbor, or family member is in need.  and president monson closed the conference with admonition to study the conference talks, to ponder them, and to apply them in our lives.

there you are: ten hours of conference in five paragraphs.  i thought of making a "highlight video" of what i listed above.  instead, i second president monson: read the ensign.

in addition to what the stood out from the speakers, there were other things that kept weighing on me.  i wrote those down, too, as i think that what we think about during conference can be even more significant for us that what is in a talk.

yesterday i commented that the saturday morning session often had my favorite talks.  this conference, however, the talk that stood out to me the most was president uchtdorf's talk on sunday morning.  it was a good reminder to  stick with it, to scrub myself a bit and tidy up; to remember the basics of the Gospel, that prayer, going to Church, and reading the scriptures is the solution, reminding that discipleship is a journey.

now is the time to adjust our lives.

looking up elder anderson's press conference this afternoon (he's pretty great), i learned that the Church is on facebook and twitter, and had a youtube channel.  so there you go.

at times, i still miss president hinckley.

the alphabet of gustafsons

i've thought this would be fun to do for a while.

although, technically, i suppose it's "the gustafsons of nations."

guatamala

uganda

spain

togo

azerbaijan

fiji

sweden

oman

namibia

macedonia

angola

romania

kenya

vatican city

algeria

lesotho

japan

equatorial guinea

france

finland

brasil

estonia

china

kosovo

yugoslavia

bhutan

rwanda

austria

denmark

yemen

central african republic

armenia

latvia

egypt

belarus

thailand

iran

mexico

it feels good

it feels good to preach a lesson by the Spirit

it feels good to eat at in-n-out burger

it feels good to go hometeaching

it feels good to hold caleb

it feels good to get a text message

it feels good to go shopping with my brother

it feels good to be from minnesota

it feels good to play the bass part to boston's "long time" with my friends on rock band 2

it feels good to sleep in my bed

it feels good to go on an awesome date

it feels good to listen

it feels good to get comments on my blog

it feels good to laugh at a buster keaton movie

it feels good to hear how the fargo-moorhead ward (and community) is working together to fight the flood.

it feels good to drink apple beer from a bottle

it feels good to be in the temple

it feels good to hold a cat

it feels good to have jack steal my cinnamon toast crunch when i'm praying in apt. 104

it feels good to dance to tally hall

it feels good to be home for Christmas

it feels good to be inside during a thunderstorm

it feels good to stand up when the prophet walks in before general conference

it feels good to snowboard

it feels good to be clean

it feels good to make chocolate chip cookies with my sister

what makes you feel good?