editor's note: reading over this post shortly after it was published, all i can say is, "drat." this sounded a lot better (and less... whatever it is) in our collective head. in short, this did not come out at all like i wanted it to. i should've written it two weeks ago when it sounded better. sheep fail.
"life is pain, highness. anyone who says differently is selling something."
so says the dread pirate wesley, talking incognito to the woman he true loves.
a few weeks ago i was helping a friend move, carrying boxes in the hot texas sun and thinking about this whole thing. that "life is pain" part.
i thought of the things in my life that weren't as i'd like them and realized that most people probably live that way. most people have missing pieces, things they lack, feeling incomplete. and i could see how it would be easy to fall into the bitter attitude of believing that that's the harsh reality of life, that everyone is miserable.
i have a lot of strengths, a whole long list of things i'm awesome at. and there are also plenty of things i'm not good at, things i don't do well with. so it is. sometimes those weaknesses can be practiced and developed into talents. other weaknesses, i think, may appear as weakness only because of the environment we are in, and that in another stage, they will begin to be viewed as a strength instead.
my sister has described her life as hard, but that she wouldn't want it any other way. that, i think, is the state i strive for. i don't ever expect life to be a picnic, although i know that there are moments, albeit usually brief, where things line up and awesomeness just harmonizes. i expect to be tired, frustrated, and worn out. i expect to be busy, to have the demands unending, to always have something coming up. but i look forward to that feeling of knowing that it's crazy but that i wouldn't want it any other way.