Friday, August 06, 2010

whatever and ever amen

several years ago, when ruby tuesday moved out of centennial, she sent me some flowers (including lilacs, by mistake, though i still commend her diligence in finding a flower store that delivered lilacs). i dried them and saved them because, not only do people not send me flowers very often, but i really liked her and tend to hang on to things from people i like like that.

the seasons changed and time marched on. i moved from 104 to 907, she served a mission in salt lake and came back again and the flowers were starting to get a little dusty on the bottom shelf of my nightstand. over this time, i had met the great laurie jayne, broken up, had the awkward interim, and, as she was getting over a much harder break up with another guy (one of my previous roommates' brother, incidentally), developed a pretty awesome friendship.

looking at those once-pink dried flowers, i decided it was time to put things to a proper rest and move on. and that if i burned those flowers as a way of doing so it would probably look really cool. i really don't remember the particulars of it all, but laurie joined me, bringing something from her relationship to offer in burnt offering to the stars above.

this was not a malicious or spiteful burning. i don't see the point of being angry. but i do mourn and like to get things out and to move on. mark joined us with his camera.
it went great. my dried roses blazed with such beauty that i used a shot for my blog title (nice work, mark). for me, it was a peaceful and almost nostalgic event, as my feelings had had years to heal. for laurie, the emotions were much closer and fresher.
after it was all over, she played her ukelele for me. that was really cool.

as i mentioned in my previous post, the last few weeks for me haven't been quite as i'd hope; i've been frequently listening to the eels's "electro-shock blues", singing "cyclops rock" with gusto as i'm getting ready in the mornings, and discovering that i have a fair number of black t-shirts. i decided it was time for another burning.

i asked my artistic doppelganger kristin to assist me in photographing this burning and it's taken us a while to find an opportunity for our schedules to line up. but tonight everything did and for the best, it seems. the pictures turned out much darker than last time, but the meaning was still there.

as i finish this, "last stop: this town" is playing. and that makes me smile.
last week, jaime reminded me to keep my head up or i would miss the tender mercies.
i've done my best and i have seen them.

editor's note: i wanted to put the previous "shoes" header back up (because, while the burning roses look really cool, the image needs a lot of clean up) and cannot find the image anywhere. dang it.


Jaime said...


Laurie said...

Thank you. I am honored to have been a part of this. All of it.

The Former 786 said...

Cyclops Rock isn't really my "black T-shirt" song -- I prefer Stomp Box when I'm in that kind of mood.

kwistin said...

if i could copy and paste laurie's comment but translate it to my own words, i would. but she put it well.

and i'd also like to thank you, laurie. it takes courage to move on.

jeff, one of my favorite parts was the eulogy/reflection before and during the burning. very appropriate and well-said.

Sariah said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I just want you to know that it means more to me than you know. I've read this post at least half a dozen times reflecting on it and contemplating it. And I just want to express my deep gratitude - for everything. Thank you.