day 1

i'll write more later, but i just want to say that a) i really enjoyed my classes and b) i won't be wearing vests around here until it cools down. but i wanted to look nice for the first day of school.

seriously so blessed

it was pretty cool that i was able to celebrate my birthday (twice) before i left provo (even though i did kind of plan it that way). the 104 was a blast and the modern-era party was packed and rocking with friends and great gifts. but my very last night in town was perhaps the most special.

i've started paying attention in the past few years and noticed that things generally work out even when things look daunting (note to self: go back and read this line when you're finished writing this post), yet i woke up thursday morning feeling overwhelmed. i used wednesday to go to the logan temple and while i did not regret it, that left a lot of work to be crammed in to thursday. a lot. packing, loading, and cleaning.

why, oh why, did i worry? (jeff, go back and read this and take your own advice) not only did we get everything done by 10:00, but it was perhaps more special than my birthday parties. i had sent out a facebook invite inviting anyone who had offered to help me move to come, and while some people did stop by for a bit as they were able, there was a core group who all came and worked until it was finished. until the last spoon was packed (for the record, i still haven't found said box and had to eat my cereal this morning with a giant serving spoon gratefully discovered in a random box), the last box packed onto the truck (after years of helping so many other friends move, it's very surreal to be inside a uhaul and recognize all of the stuff as your own), and the last floorboard scrubbed.

at 9:23 that night i was looking around my house and saw the people i knew would be there; my closest and best friends. to look around and see people on their hands and knees or standing on their tip toes to wash and scrub, laughing and joking, then coming to me and enthusiastically asking what else they could do meant more to me than i can say.

thank you, everyone, who was with me that evening. literally, i could not have done it without you, and conversely, i am so happy that we were able to do it all together. as i'm unpacking the boxes around me, it's tinged with bittersweetness as i'm reminded of you all packing up the very same boxes.

i need to give special thanks to my parents as well. my mom spent the previous week with me helping to pack up the majority of the house, and had she not done so, we would have been at my place until 2:34 a.m. and none of you would be missing me now. then, in tag team style, my dad flew out to help drive me 1,300 miles across four states, providing not only a second driver, but also, along with my brother, moral support during such a monumental change in my life.

my emotions have been very close to the surface all week, and as i was heading down spanish fork canyon on friday afternoon (love the cd's, kristin!), i was on the phone with my sister and describing my feelings as "extremely happy sadness."

one last thing

i've wanted to go to the logan temple for years, but i had to work the day my ward took a temple trip up there and i've always told myself i'd go there someday.

on my last "someday" in utah, i decided to go.

now all i have to do is pack my truck and move out.

the 104 party

it's late and i've got another big day tomorrow, but i want to say a few things here tonight.

around 5:30 today i was looking at the clock and realizing that i hadn't decorated, didn't even know what i was going to do to entertain, and yet had a birthday party starting in thirty minutes.

the party could not have been better. i had an absolute blast. as i was thinking about it, while not a whole lot of my friends read my blog, i think that just about everyone who came tonight (and i was genuinely and delightedly surprised to see everyone who did show up!!) also reads this blog. and that's really cool. really.

the scort, we wish you could have been there.
i invited bret ("muscles") on facebook but he never responded. lame.
there's something to be said in that nearly all of us have not been regularly in each others' lives for 5-7 years, yet we still keep in touch and were all able to get together tonight and have an absolute blast. in fact, that says a dang lot.

marin, your cake would give my last year's wall-e cake a strong competition for best birthday cake ever, but they're in different categories. just the same, it was incredible. thank you.

chuckles, thank you for the apple beer. anyone who really understands the significance of apple beer probably was here tonight. without apple beer, it wouldn't be a 104 party.

there are at least four different stories behind the things written here.

i hope everyone will forgive and understand when i say that this was my favorite part of the night. this toast and all that was said and referenced and remembered completely sealed the night as awesome. for a myriad of reasons, thank you, ruby tuesday.

and tomorrow is the big party....

whatever and ever amen

several years ago, when ruby tuesday moved out of centennial, she sent me some flowers (including lilacs, by mistake, though i still commend her diligence in finding a flower store that delivered lilacs). i dried them and saved them because, not only do people not send me flowers very often, but i really liked her and tend to hang on to things from people i like like that.

the seasons changed and time marched on. i moved from 104 to 907, she served a mission in salt lake and came back again and the flowers were starting to get a little dusty on the bottom shelf of my nightstand. over this time, i had met the great laurie jayne, broken up, had the awkward interim, and, as she was getting over a much harder break up with another guy (one of my previous roommates' brother, incidentally), developed a pretty awesome friendship.

looking at those once-pink dried flowers, i decided it was time to put things to a proper rest and move on. and that if i burned those flowers as a way of doing so it would probably look really cool. i really don't remember the particulars of it all, but laurie joined me, bringing something from her relationship to offer in burnt offering to the stars above.

this was not a malicious or spiteful burning. i don't see the point of being angry. but i do mourn and like to get things out and to move on. mark joined us with his camera.

it went great. my dried roses blazed with such beauty that i used a shot for my blog title (nice work, mark). for me, it was a peaceful and almost nostalgic event, as my feelings had had years to heal. for laurie, the emotions were much closer and fresher.

after it was all over, she played her ukelele for me. that was really cool.

as i mentioned in my previous post, the last few weeks for me haven't been quite as i'd hope; i've been frequently listening to the eels's "electro-shock blues", singing "cyclops rock" with gusto as i'm getting ready in the mornings, and discovering that i have a fair number of black t-shirts. i decided it was time for another burning.

i asked my artistic doppelganger kristin to assist me in photographing this burning and it's taken us a while to find an opportunity for our schedules to line up. but tonight everything did and for the best, it seems. the pictures turned out much darker than last time, but the meaning was still there.

as i finish this, "last stop: this town" is playing. and that makes me smile.

last week, jaime reminded me to keep my head up or i would miss the tender mercies.

i've done my best and i have seen them.

editor's note: i wanted to put the previous "shoes" header back up (because, while the burning roses look really cool, the image needs a lot of clean up) and cannot find the image anywhere. dang it.

standing outside a broken phone booth with money in my hand

my closet is partially empty, boxes are beginning to be filled, and yesterday was my first official final goodbye to a friend. august 20th is coming at a frantic pace.

to be honest, things aren't ending quite as i'd planned. movie night's numbers are very small (blessed be you who are still coming!), despite excitedly deciding to watch the movies after our discussion of the final chapters of the final book, the harry potter book club hasn't met in weeks and i think is pretty much over, and things in general just aren't going as i'd like. (i mean, i don't even teach sunday school anymore!)

for various reasons, i've been reading over a lot of my previous years' posts on sheep go to heaven. i came across one talking about "it came to pass", that good times and bad times come and go in our lives. and in my life. you can't freeze time and hold a moment forever. the ebb and flow of time courses on.

work has been phenomenal this summer. me and some friends explored southern utah, got one last trip to lagoon in, and i'm planning on going to the logan temple next week (probably my last big "to do in utah.") i've gone hiking, spent some great time with my sister and nephews, found an apartment and got my financial aid stuff all taken care of, learned a bit of photoshop and deepened a great friendship, and rock band is still just as good as ever (i'm really enjoying that mic after last night...)

two weeks left. a lot of packing to do. a few more movie nights and my birthday party of awesomeness. still plenty of good times ahead.
and even if the rest of my time here is a complete dud, it's been a good ten years, and one month can't take that away from me. : )

editor's note: we are working on getting a new blog header up. our design department has undergone extensive training and hopes to have next title graphic online within the coming days. in the meantime, we thought we'd toss up the original design for a bit.

inspiration

this is what i was thinking about during elder's quorum today.