Monday, June 12, 2006

goats go to hell

em got me into this whole blogging thing.
[i've never called her 'em', but that's how she refers to herself, so i'm just trying to fit in; i think 'mle' is cooler, personally]

i got a Christmas card from her [probably hand-made, although it looked like something from a trendy downtown store] that had some web address stamped on the back.

being that this was in the barren winter months, i checked it out and found that it was a sort of journal she was keeping on-line; an amusing commentary on her evolving life that revolves around her husband, her job, and the bun in the oven. reading it, oh how i wished for a desk job from which i could muse about the oddities around me.

with all that time to think, i wondered if i could write something worth reading.
maybe, although i also really liked the look of her blog, with a cool layout and color-scheme, and i know nothing about web design or computer programming stuff.
i didn't know how to make a blog.

come to find out, that's all a template at the click of a button. my awe of mle remains unaltered [i think she's a super-hero, and all this stuff she writes is a just a clever front], and i'm am happy to find that i could have a neat-looking blog, too. [i sometimes see other peoples' blogs that are much more design-ish, having broken from the provided templates. i get a little envious and curious, but their content is generally so dull that my worry soon dissipates]
her wonderful choices of pictures was a big inspiration, too.

and thus began the end of my personal journal and the start of 'sheep go to heaven', which i think is a fine blog name, although i am very, very happy that my site address is what it is.

my personal journal, which i actually kept pretty faithfully for nigh a year or more, is somewhat bland. i hate the thought of crafting any sort of good or interesting writing in a place where it would most-likely be read only when i'm in the cold ground; it seems like a travesty. if i put work into something that i think is cool, i would like people to notice it.
so my decendants will all think great uncle jeff was a poor writer.

i really should be saving these postings somewhere of my own, just in case the servers get hit by a hurricane or a meteor or charging rhino [i have no idea where they are].

but i love writing in this far more than i ever imagined.
part of it is due to the medium, that i can write in an anonymous environment, then put it out for all the world to see. no deadlines, no editors demanding more public-pleasing material or that i 'be more funny', or even that i check my facts [though i do try to keep a sort of professional discipline here, for my own good].
i would like to think that there are scores of readers from around the world who have '' bookmarked as a part of their morning routine, and the occasional comment from an unknown screen name fuels such dreams. yet, i know that i have even half a dozen friends who like to hear about jeff, which is really a better audience that masses who don't know me. [and if jekakah doesn't get her new job, my readership extends into alaska....]

still, my goal is to one day be featured on the 'blogs of note' slot on the site's homepage.

...but those seem reserved for blogs with a theme, like the guy who ranked every single beatles song and provided commentary for why.
or m.c. hammer's blog.
i did like the blog that was written entirely in 'wookie.'

even in one post, there are multiple outlets of expression:
generally, the posting itself is an essay on some idea or theory, a journal entry with enough care to make it readable and hopefully entertaining, or sometimes just a piles of thoughts.
but i've also got a title from which to work, where i either set the tone for the following writings , or else express a completely different thought or emotion [the 'goat' stuff], often obscurely enough that only i know what it's referring to, so that i have emoted without any sort of unnecessary exposure that i may regret or blush at later on.
the picture goes the same. sometimes it reinforces one or both of the others, or sometimes it speaks from the more quiet chambers of the heart.

reading a lot of my old e-mails, i am often a little disappointed with myself. my ideas weren't very developed or well presented, or i was irrational and thoughtless in a moment, or i worried and fretted over that which was of little consequence a short time later. perhaps that means i have grown since that time.
as i re-read my postings here, i don't feel that way.
i feel pride [the good kind].
i'm happy with what i've written.
there have been days when i've wanted to write rain or heavy fog or hellfire, but i considered that this was going before all the world and history, and re-considered what i wanted to leave.
i've done alright.

here are nine postings i like:

wouldn't it be nice

the other first best picture

reason #256 why i love my sister

my movie

and maybe it's time to live

planet telex at the video store

what it feels like for a 2nd a.c.

only a lad

dead man's party

to all who have read my blog, whether you check it every day or just stumbled across it and read a post, thank you.


Anonymous said...

BLOG 100!!!! Congrats!

Em said...

Aw, Jeff. I certainly find your blog to be more poetic and pleasant to read than mine. You nearly never whine... probably has to do with the fact that you actually think about who might read what you write. Smart man.

But I'm pleased as punch I helped you find a happy thought!

Beej said...

Part of my daily routine while sitting at the desk job thing that you seem to admire yet not understand in the same moment. How else am I going to keep tabs on my roommate?