my little corner of the world

yes, her shoes match the cake.  it's that
awesome.  even more awesome: the inner
stitching on her jeans matched, too.

why, why didn't we put the milk on the
right side, where it's darker, and the chocolate cupcake on the left in the light?
dang it.

seriously dang love the lighting here.

mirrors: a photography goldmine.

this is why i fight

i believe in love.

i really do.  if i didn't, i'd probably be married by now.  i would have found some nice girl who met a good enough standard of requirements to make a fine companion and great, there you go.

but, no.

president hinckley quoted this story many years ago:

“one of the great errors we are inclined to make when we are young is supposing that a person is a collection of qualities, and we add up the individual’s good and bad qualities, like a bookkeeper working on debits and credits.

“if the balance is favorable, we may decide to enter (into marriage) … the world is full of unhappy men and women who married because … it seemed to be a good investment.

“love, however, is not an investment; it is an adventure. and when marriage turns out to be as dull and comfortable as a good investment, the dissatisfied partner soon turns elsewhere …

“ignorant people are always saying, ‘i wonder what he sees in her [or him],’ not realizing that what he [or she] sees in her [or him] (and what no one else can see) is the secret essence of love.”

i don't believe that love and marriage is like the ending of a disney fairy tale or of a romantic comedy, where everything is suddenly grand and glorious and that's it.
and yet i refuse to accept the notion that all of the flowers and colors fade after a few years or even a few months when "reality" sets in.

there's a fine line between those two, where love and hard work coexist, and if i'm going to err, it will be towards the disney side.  frustrations, miscommunications, irritations, disappointments, sure.  but dang it, the girl i marry is the one i want to be with and she's the one i chose and i don't want to go through those experiences with anyone else.  having the one you love by your side, whether it's making dinner on sunday afternoon or touring some beautiful part of the world or even cleaning the bathroom; if she's there, then it is grand and glorious.

i've felt that a couple of times.  brief moments, far too brief, especially when contrasted with the option of forever, but enough to know that it is real.  and knowing that those feelings are out there, yes, that is why i fight.  that love is what i fight for.

president hinckley again put it well when he said, "it was you who felt that there was no one else in all the world quite like her.  it was you who wished to have her forever."

"no one else in all the world quite like her."  i like that.  heck yes.  that is how it feels, and it's wonderful.
it's also bloody rare.

i don't know how it happens.  i don't know what elements cause that reaction, how to create it.
but i know that love is out there.

that is what i see when i look in the mirror of erised.

i believe in it, i have felt it, and that is why i fight.

and, after i find it, i'll keep fighting.

laser guided

as is often the case, there was one particular in the april general conference that seemed uncannily given just for me.
this time, it was "more than conquerors through Him that loved us" by elder paul v. johnson.  and to make sure i really got the message, a friend texted me during the talk , "this talk is just for us!"
it most certainly was.

elder johnson talked about trials, of the challenges we face, and of having the strength to endure them, seeing past them to the brighter and more glorious end.  except that he says it far better than i can summarize.  check it out some of these highlights:

but these trials are not just to test us. they are vitally important to the process of putting on the divine nature.  if we handle these afflictions properly, they will be consecrated for our gain.


no pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. … all that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable. … it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.


at times it may seem that our trials are focused on areas of our lives and parts of our souls with which we seem least able to cope. since personal growth is an intended outcome of these challenges, it should come as no surprise that the trials can be very personal—almost laser guided to our particular needs or weaknesses.

and no one is exempt, especially not saints striving to do what’s right. some obedient saints may ask, “why me? i’m trying to be good! why is the Lord allowing this to happen?”


a pattern in the scriptures and in life shows that many times the darkest, most dangerous tests immediately precede remarkable events and tremendous growth. “after much tribulation come the blessings.”


in the midst of problems, it is nearly impossible to see that the coming blessings far outweigh the pain, humiliation, or heartbreak we may be experiencing at the time. “no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”


sometimes we want to have growth without challenges and to develop strength without any struggle. but growth cannot come by taking the easy way. we clearly understand that an athlete who resists rigorous training will never become a world-class athlete. we must be careful that we don’t resent the very things that help us put on the divine nature.

as i sat in the back of the chapel, soaking up all of this, there was one term that rang so true that i knew this talk was from God: laser guided.
wow.

often, we talk about trials in a rather general sense: yes, life is difficult at times and we get tired and busy.  the weight of homework, job responsibilities, financial needs, a myriad of demands and complications surrounding family life, and whatever else builds up and we're dang tired under it all.  yes, trials.

but there have been times where the challenges i've been given have been such that only someone who knew my innermost soul would know about.  the interesting aspect of such difficulties is that only God could know this about me, only God could know these weaknesses, these tender spots that have just been struck.  not even the randomness of nature could be that precise in its targeting.  these trials must be from God and, therefore, He must know i can handle them and He is supporting me in them.

it's common to look at others and think that their problems aren't so bad, or wonder why they don't seem to have the same struggles we do.  and sometimes it's a matter of the grass seeming greener, but maybe it's because their trials wouldn't be that hard for us.  and, likewise, maybe those around us also have the same struggles we do, but they deal with them more easily yet fight tougher battles with challenges we defeat so easily we hardly give them a second thought.

whatever the case, we have our soft spots, our vulnerabilities and our hidden weaknesses and God gives us trials custom made to the most difficult situations we could face at times.  but He isn't a speculating scientist, experimenting to see what will happen when His test rat is subjected to pain.  He's guiding us to a beautiful mountain top, to grand vistas, and to seriously dang awesome happiness.

for the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.
habakkuk 2:3.

where do you stand?

editor's note: the title of this posts suggest something noble, such as a dissertation on ethics or morals.  sorry.  rather, the following post is about urinals.  we apologize if you were looking some uplifting sunday afternoon reading.

i was going through a box of files a few nights ago.  they were things that i had collected and saved from high school and the time immediately following my mission.  newspaper clippings and magazine articles about aliens and conspiracies, some noteworthy high school papers (about conspiracies), cards from graduation and good luck signs from theatre shows, and anything else i deemed worth holding onto.

at that time, the internet was still vey much in the 1.0 phase, with it being most populated with usegroups and gopher sites by college kids, when .edu was the most common way to have access (even if it was limited by the campus library.)  before people discovered the joy of forwarding cat pictures (the thought of having pictures on a computer, much less including them in an e-mail, was only for techno-thriller movies; even adding color to your e-mail text was often unlikely), this came my way, and i printed it off and saved it in the aforementioned files.

i am preserving the formatting as best as possible:

There is a code of "Restroom Etiquette" that MUST be followed.  Men should ace this test... but women may have a little difficulty.
===============================================
The following is a sample urinal configuration in a men's room:

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

In the test, an X in a stall will indicate "in use."  The example indicates that urinals 3 and 6 are occupied:

|   |   | X |   |   | X |

You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at which stall you are to stand.  Good luck!

----------------------
Easy Section
----------------------
1.)
|   | X |   | X |   |   |       (Urinals 2 and 4 occupied.)

-----------------------------
Your choice: ____
---------------------------------------------------------------


Correct answer: 6              It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy instinctively knows this.
================================================
2.)
| X |   |   |   |   |   |        (Urinal 1 occupied.)

------------------------------
Your choice: ____

Correct answer: 6           Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a greater risk of being next to someone who arrives later.

----------------------

Kind of Tricky Section

----------------------

3.)

|   |   |   |   |   |   |       (empty)

-----------------------------

Your choice: ____

---------------------------------------------------------------

Correct answer: 1 or 6             You are tacitly saying, "I don't want anyone next to me."

==================================================

4.)

|   | X |   | X |   | X |       (urinals 2, 4 and 6 occupied.)

-----------------------------

Your choice: ____

---------------------------------------------------------------

Correct answer: 1              You're stuck being next to at least ONE guy, so you minimize the impact and get a wall on your left.  NEVER go between TWO guys if you can help it.  Exceptions to this are stadium restrooms where the herd thunders in.

----------------------------------------------

Subtle, Tricky, but Important-to-know Section

----------------------------------------------

5.)

|   | X |   |   | X | X |       (2, 5 and 6 occupied.)

-----------------------------

Your choice: ____

---------------------------------------------------------------

Correct answer: 4            Believe it or not, 1 and 3 "couples" you with the guy in stall 2.  And we wouldn't want THAT now, would we?  This differs from question 4 in such a subtle way that the nuances cannot be explained.  Suffice it to say, only we men would understand!

-------------------------------

VERY Tricky Indeed Section

------------------------------

6.)

| X | X |   |   | X | X |       (1, 2, 5 and 6 occupied.)

-----------------------------

Your choice: ____

---------------------------------------------------------------

Correct answer: NONE! You go to the mirror and pretend to comb your hair or straighten a tie until the urinals "open up" a bit more.  If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD, use a door stall.

================================================

Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:

-- NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse and unemotional.  This ain't no clubhouse.

-- I don't think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of anyone other than yourself.  A touch of another's elbow is of the highest offense.

-- NO singing.  Period.

-- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgement only... "Yeah, I see you there.  I will not look again."

seven texters

jaime---824

kristin---374

sariah---183

cassidy---174

mark---127

jess---119

joel---78

gone to look for america

disclaimer: the following photo-journey contains photographs of nauvoo, il.  readers who may find such images uncomfortable are advised to proceed with discretion.

given that some of my writings of the great cross-country trek were a little long and given that some readers here a) have offspring tugging for their attention near-constantly, b) may be illiterate, and c) just might not like me enough to bother reading whatever it is i write, i have chosen to put up a whole buncha pictures from the trip with brief captions.  because, in light of the a) through c) possibilities, there's also d) i just had a lot more that i wanted to show.

here's what we did:

day 0: the pre-show

here we are, together at one edge of the continent.
in four days, we'll be at the other side.
....provided we don't get abducted by aliens in nevada.
(the sun is in my eyes.)

my feet, the atlantic.

i think we were all a little sad that jess was
going the other direction--across the
atlantic--rather than with us.  still,
it was great to see her before she left.

day 1: A to C

so this is what new jersey looks like....

counting the cars on the [pennsylvania] turnpike...

this is one of my regrets of the trip: how boss would it
have been to have a picture of every "welcome to
[this state]" sign that we passed?  very.
lamely, i'd usually forget about it until we were almost
there.  as a result, this is one of my better shots....

i had a red door, God has a green door.

jaime, master of the self-portaits.

hello, cleveland!

 day 2: C to E

legit typography

by comparison, this is very modern nauvoo....

any place that looks like this just HAS to be good.
...except that they were closed, so we ate down the street.
still, seriously awesome marquee...

no ruby red squirt here.

o-ma-ha!

day 3: E to F

it's a museum built OVER the interstate.
even if it's lame inside, it's still awesome...

truck stop technology: you choose the
ice cream and the thickness, the
machine makes you a milkshake.
what more could you want?

how about a whole chicken?
thank you, bro-tisserie.

"potter," as in "harry potter."
we also saw signs for "jack (something)", "jeffrey lake,"
"peterson", and i think there may have been a "caleb"
and a "jessica" in there somewhere, too.

ok, wyoming, you're prettier than i remember.
the fact that you aren't a snow-blown death
trap helps, too.

I-80, the third member of our journey.

day 4: F to G

jaime, walking on water.

mexican "death star valley"?

A to G.
not counting the additional two hours to the pacific.

it was an amazing trip already, but let's
drive across the golden gate bridge,
just for good measure.

we made it!! coast to coast!!

my feet, the pacific.

the reality: it was absolutely freezing out there!!
i think it was around 50 degrees out.

somewhere out there is the house from "full house,"
and one day i'll see it.

did you know san francisco had a place
like this?  i didn't.  i just recently saw this
in a clip from hitchcock's "vertigo":
jimmy stewart walked where i walked.
yeah.

the sacramento temple.  : )

the parting of the fellowship at
the phoenix airport.

so, check off yet another thing i completely wasn't expecting when i said that i looked forward to the unknown adventures of 2011.