waiting on the Lord's timing

Convenient to the village of Manchester, Ontario county, New York, stands a hill of considerable size, and the most elevated of any in the neighborhood. On the west side of this hill, not far from the top, under a stone of considerable size, lay the plates, deposited in a stone box. This stone was thick and rounding in the middle on the upper side, and thinner towards the edges, so that the middle part of it was visible above the ground, but the edge all around was covered with earth.

Having removed the earth, I obtained a lever, which I got fixed under the edge of the stone, and with a little exertion raised it up. I looked in, and there indeed did I behold the plates, the Urim and Thummim, and the breastplate, as stated by the messenger. The box in which they lay was formed by laying stones together in some kind of cement. In the bottom of the box were laid two stones crossways of the box, and on these stones lay the plates and the other things with them.

I made an attempt to take them out, but was forbidden by the messenger, and was again informed that the time for bringing them forth had not yet arrived, neither would it, until four years from that time; but he told me that I should come to that place precisely in one year from that time, and that he would there meet with me, and that I should continue to do so until the time should come for obtaining the plates.

Accordingly, as I had been commanded, I went at the end of each year, and at each time I found the same messenger there, and received instruction and intelligence from him at each of our interviews, respecting what the Lord was going to do, and how and in what manner his kingdom was to be conducted in the last days.
...

At length the time arrived for obtaining the plates, the Urim and Thummim, and the breastplate. On the twenty-second day of September, one thousand eight hundred and twenty-seven, having gone as usual at the end of another year to the place where they were deposited, the same heavenly messenger delivered them up to me with this charge: that I should be responsible for them; that if I should let them go carelessly, or through any neglect of mine, I should be cut off; but that if I would use all my endeavors to preserve them, until he, the messenger, should call for them, they should be protected.

Joseph Smith-History 1:51-54, 59
italics added

i was meant for the stage

when you're starting out at something, it's easy to be determined and believing. to stand at the gate and know that, if you work hard enough, you can make it. you that there will be challenges but because you know that, you also know that you won't give up and that that's the secret to making it. the challenge is exciting and you're ready to fight and take the punches and win the crown at the end.

when i was 22, i wanted to be a cinematographer. feature films would be awesome, but i'd be ok with shooting commercials, especially car commercials, since they looked amazing. as i neared graduation, things didn't go as i'd planned. the path to being a big director of photography was more vague than i was prepared for, and even people who seemed successful to me warned me of the steep and rocky nature of the path.
i had planned for challenges, but these weren't the challenges i'd planned for.

a few years later, i had found a new path: digital cinematography with pixar as my goal. still getting to compose shots and work with the details of lenses and framing, making some of the best movies ever made, all at a studio where i'd have a job every morning and could even go home in the evenings sometimes; it seemed to have everything i dared hope for in a job. plus, they like people with film degrees. i never thought i'd heard that.

but what if i don't get hired at pixar?
what if it's more demanding and intense than i would like? what if, even though i think i want to work there, i actually wouldn't feel comfortable there?
would i be happier at another job but i wouldn't know it because i'd want to be a part of pixar?
if i didn't get on there, would i be just as happy at disney or dreamworks?
what if i don't make it at any of those big studios and end up at some job that i never would have picked? will i love such that i'd be ok with not being at a big amazing studio?


i don't know.
i seem to always choose interest in industries that are rather narrow. with what i'm doing, there are only so many places to work and i manage to aim so high that i wonder if i'm fighting against people who seem much more talented and qualified that i am.
i briefly flirted with the idea of business school. i studied for the gmat and  even read part of a book about business efficiency. if i had a degree in marketing, there would be a lot more options for me out there.*

but that's not me.
and i'm doing what is me.
i don't know what's ahead down the pathway. somedays i wonder if that bridge wasn't supposed to collapse like it did, or that i missed a turn-off somewhere, but i never saw one.
so i'm going forward, doing the best that i know how.
and trusting that it'll work out. that the smart move wasn't to turn back a few miles ago.

(*editor's note: to the m.b.a.s and their families who may be reading, we acknowledge that having such a degree does not guarantee a job or a smooth path ahead. we raise an apple beer to all of your successes and accomplishments. you cool like a mule.)

soy un perdedor

i really liked this article.

i watched lost in translation tonight.
it'd been a while.
it's still very good.

my resolution

one of the unique aspects of the dark knight is that major action sequences were filmed in IMAX, which is 70mm film run sideways through a camera, as opposed to the standard 35mm. it helped create a much more impressive and immersive experience, particularly if you saw the film in an IMAX theater. the technique has since been employed on inception and mission:impossible- ghost protocol. i was lucky to see both of those in IMAX and yeah, it was pretty dang.

describing their reasoning behind this, wall pfister, asc, told american cinematographer magazine,

“It’s ironic,” muses the cinematographer, “because many filmmakers are trying out digital cameras that actually capture less resolution and information, and we’re going in the opposite direction, upping the ante by capturing images with unparalleled resolution and clarity.”

july 2008

so, yeah.
why would you go for less resolution when you can go in the opposite direction?