Monday, December 21, 2009

and i want to be a paperback writer

i've been meaning to jump on the literary fad wagon for a while. the easiest is the gothic teen romance and mummies are going to be the next big thing: beautiful but shy college freshman works as a nurse at the local hospital. she meets a quiet man who seems to be a burn victim but is actually a millennia-old mummy, possessing a kingdom's fortune but simultaneously carrying the burden of the attached curse. plus, you've got fuel to the fire as she gradually unwraps his bandages....

today at barnes and noble, i discovered an even better way to reap the literary gold: the "X and philosophy" books. no longer are founders socrates and aristotle sharing shelf space solely with with marx and sarte. pop culture from many walks (though generally those appealing to the twenty/thirty-market) is flooding the shelves.

granted, "the simpsons and philosophy" isn't exactly radical, though i hope it's better than my "simpsons and religion" book i got a few years ago that turned out to be little more than an index of religious mentionings in the show. "watchmen and philosophy" is also a no-brainer, and "buffy the vampire slayer and philosophy" is mash-up that i've been hearing about for a while.
but it doesn't stop there.

batman and philosophy
stanley kubrick and philosophy
south park and philosophy
pink floyd and philosophy
stephen colbert and philosophy

it went on and on.

tim noted that many of these are likely collections of research papers, cohesively compiled by an editor. sure, i could do that, but i'd rather write my own. a few ideas:

"tally hall and philosophy", with chapters including
  • the ruler of everything: balancing a wonderful wife and a powerful job without criticism
  • w.w.t.h.d.: carefree attitudes in white middle-class suburbia
  • the bidding: a woman's guide to choosing the best guy before they're gone
  • seconds tick like boulders: anger management during romantic separation
or "they might be giants and philosophy"
  • the blue canary in the outlet by the lightswitch: needs for both a conscience and a night light in modern society
  • that's nobody's business but the turks: fostering intercultural understanding without historical prejudices
  • fingertips: breaking your life down into ten-second moments
  • triangle man fights universe man: religion and science battle for the attention of mankind
  • my dog and youth culture: canine cautions toward night life and white funk
actually, i could easilly fill a book with chapter titles from the philosophy of john and john. their work pretty much writes itself. but in case those demographics are too small (when tally hall hits it big, then random house will return my e-mails), i've got one more for the mass markets:

"chocolate chip cookies and philosophy"
  • chips: melt with your surroundings without losing your identity
  • raw eggs and flour: becoming delicious from unappealing beginnings
  • strength comes in pairs: finding your glass of milk
  • the joy of raw cookie dough: enjoying the journey before the destination
"all we are is dust in the wind, dude."


Jaime said...

enjoying the journey before the destination. brilliant.

The Former 786 said...




Gotta love the deep-thinking fluff lyrics of TMBG, too.