foreplay/long time

it's been such a long time

i think i should be going

and time doesn't wait for me, it keeps on rolling

sail on, on a distant highway

i've got to keep on chasing a dream

i've gotta be on my way

wish there was something i could say

well i'm taking my time, i'm just moving on

you'll forget about me after i've been gone

and i take what i find, i don't want no more

it's just outside of your front door

well i get so lonely when i am without you

but in my mind, deep in my mind,

i can't forget about you

good times

and faces that remind me

i'm trying to forget your name and leave it all behind me

you're coming back to find me

it's been such a long time, i think i should be going

and time doesn't wait for me, it keeps on rolling

there's a long road, i've gotta stay in time with

i've got to keep on chasing that dream, though i may never find it

i'm always just behind it

concert photography by k*art

on an island in the sun and the clouds

i was first part of a "desert island" discussion one night in someone's basement during my freshman year of high school. it's the standard question of "what five cds would you take if you were on a deserted island for the rest of your life." i remember miah listing the counting crows's debut album as one of his. matt no doubt listed a pink floyd album or two. and as i was still rather green in the realm of music, i think i just tossed out some r.e.m. cds, not that anyone was really paying attention to me anyway.

i like lists and i like debating them. is the godfather part two really better than the first, or is it the other way around? everyone lists "sgt. pepper" as the greatest beatles album, but how do you compare it to "abbey road"?

on my gray post-it board on my room in high school, i would pin up my top ten list of cds for the benefit of all who came into my room. "whatever and ever amen" by ben folds five was number one, followed by the "lost highway" soundtrack (perfect for night driving in those days) and the soundtrack to "the nightmare before Christmas." i really don't remember what was on the rest of that list, although i think i put green day's very first album at number ten.

similarly, as my interests dovetailed into movies, i had a firm list of my top ten movies as well. in the summer after high school, my top three movies of all time were "pulp fiction", "the nightmare before Christmas", and "breakfast at tiffany's." in the ensuing years, when i would try to stand a little taller and decided that even the tv version of "pulp fiction" was a little too rough for me, i wondered when i would find another movie that would so completely knock me off my socks in brilliance, ingenuity, and sheer awesomeness. and while i don't list it on my top ten, i still recognize it for what it is. but i have new favorites.

so, what would be my five desert island movies today? "fanny and alexander", "bill and ted's excellent adventure", "2001", "seven samurai", and "singin' in the rain." who knows? those first three kind of make up my trinity of favorites, and i'm looking forward to making some time to watch "fanny and alexander" this week.

cds? "marvin's marvelous mechanical museum" (that's tally hall's cd, fyi), "the orb's adventures in the ultraworld" by the orb, and, um... hmmm. shoot. i love "london calling" by the clash and "pet sounds" by the beach boys (even listing that as my #1 fave for a while), as well as "abbey road" and some favorites by they might be giants, r.e.m., the eels ("electroshock blues" would be a contender...) but that list is much more fluid and dynamic.

however, what if you could only take one? only one cd to listen to, only one movie on the island? is there one that you can enjoy when you're happy and when you're sad? during loneliness hours and in times of ecstatic dancing?

fanny and alexander? ...maybe. my first viewing left me thinking of it as cinematic perfection and i don't back down from that, but is it too heavy to be the only movie i'd ever watch? 2001? it transcends the walls of filmmaking and makes my most selective list of "movies that are so good i want to scream" (and i did during the intermission of the last time i saw it), but again, pretty serious, and for as serious as i am, i think i want something lighter and more fun.

bill and ted? quite possibly. i love it so dearly not because it is Cinematic Art, but because it is what it is--a story about two dudes who save the world in a time-traveling phone booth--and it is completely unashamed of itself. no, i don't get the high culture of film that i enjoy with it, but i love it.

maybe the seven samurai, since it has action, drama, and humor all wrapped up in the greatest filmmaking ever. but it doesn't really feel like it's my movie.

bill and ted is mine.

music is much easier.

if i could to only one cd for the test of my life, i would choose without hesitation or regret: tally hall's marvin's marvelous mechanical museum.

it first seemed like a fun psuedo-novelty cd from some offbeat band, yet as i've listened to it over one hundred times (and probably two hundred, in all honesty), it has never gotten tired or trite. rather, i've found new depths, brilliance, insight, and lyricism in songs that first bored me (actually, i find myself skipping "banana man" sometimes, but goofiness is cool, too). the more i listen to it in more facets of my life, the more i love it. i loved it when i first heard it and i love it today.

ceci n'est pas une post about school

of the three classes that i have, 613: intro to 3-D animation is a steamroller. no matter how much work i do in that class, there's always more to be done.

it's frustrating.

very frustrating, at times.

there are major deadlines for the class spread throughout the semester, but, by and large, we work on our own schedules. which means you can spend a lot of time on it, or you can let a week or two go by with only putting in a few hours at the lab. but whether you dedicate yourself in the lab or just spend a little time there, it's still there. the final project is still going to be due in december. and while it's easy to take a day off now, at some point, you're going to have to face it. you're going to have to do the work. so you may as well stop avoiding it now.

confusion never stops

browsing as i was getting ready for bed, my mind was wandering and i came across this.

for a variety of reasons, it was interesting to read again.

and then i inadvertently came to this one, too.

anyway.

same same but different.

quadresson

in the early weeks of october, i had a lot on my mind. my brain never seems to shut off in the first place (a trait that drives me crazy at times yet i wouldn't have it any other way) and with all that was happening in my life, i was getting good at holding roundtable discussions with myself.

in my "experimental film" class, we looked at the work of artists like david hockney, examining the concept of looking at scenes in life from different perspectives and viewpoints. hockney worked mostly in still photographs and an option for our assignment was to apply those principles in a video format.

sitting in a couch outside the department offices, i started jotting down some ideas that were lame and aimless but would fulfill the parameters of the assignment. but mostly, i was thinking about utah. about all that i had left behind there. how long would it take me to build a new life here? would i always be feeling the gap that i had left behind? i certainly wasn't off to a good start here. most times, i really wasn't the movie night/rock bander that me and my friends loved in the red door. i was still me, but not the awesome me. hmmm. there's different sides of me, too. i wished i could be awesomejeff all the time, or, rather, i felt like i should be, but i was ok being whatever jeff i felt like being and i hoped that was ok, too. i mean, it's still me. i started writing down ideas in my notebook, quickly scribbling, sometimes with real intensity, sometimes in different directions on the page, partly because i didn't want to lose any ideas, partly because i was in a mad artistic fervor, and partly because i thought i would be cool if it looked like i wrote this in a mad artistic fervor.

at any rate, i had my idea: i would interview myself, four times, each time as a different facet of myself. the interviews would be played simultaneously, with identical questions being asked, and all four answers would be honest and accurate, even if they seemed to contradict. if we can look at an object or a person from different angles, why not do the same thing on an internal and emotional level?

i shot a test of it and generally liked it. i saw some things to change and fix (we all know i saw "um" a lot, but when there's four of me thinking aloud at the same time, that became something to fix for the actual shoot). the emotional honesty of this kind left me feeling self-indulgent and self-conscious when i showed it in front of my class, but once i got over that, i'm actually really happy with how it turned out (even though there are four or five things i would love to fix in this, including the low audio levels....)

a few closing remarks:

1) the final question (as well as the project's working title) come from transformers: the movie.

2) if you've been a regular reader of this blog and don't think i'm a nutter already, this video isn't going to phase you.

as time goes by

make someone happy
make just one someone happy
make just one heart the heart you sing to
one smile that cheers you
one face that lights when it nears you
one girl you're ev'rything to

fame if you win it
comes and goes in a minute
where's the real stuff in life to cling to?

love is the answer
someone to love is the answer
once you've found her, build your world around her

make someone happy
make just one someone happy
and you will be happy, too

gen. 2:18
til then, thanks, ruby tuesday.