tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217928502024-03-07T11:22:04.821-07:00sheep go to heavenei blot til lyst--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.comBlogger893125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-55419579033239228112017-06-04T18:12:00.000-06:002017-06-08T18:12:56.182-06:00an open letter to my unborn son<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">dear boy,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">it's june 4, 2017. your mom and i have been married for one year today. she also happens to be eight and a half months pregnant. with you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">i often comment that we "live in the future." i have an ipad that has my books and newspapers that i read as well as my movies and tv shows that i like to watch, and also family photos, all on the same thin little thing. my iphone controls my tv, janelle and i can order dinner with just the push of a few buttons, and i can make financial investments by hardly doing anything at all. plus, electric and self-driving cars are appearing on the horizon, as well as a multitude of other crazy things that i can't even think of right now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">it's 2017. even that feels further in the future than we actually should be. i recently read about some movie (one of those marvel movies, i think), being released in 2018 and i thought that was three or four years away, not seven months. and yet, for you, 2017 will be in the distant, essentially unknown past. you will look at pictures of this very moment the way that i look at photos of 1979 and the early 1980s: everything will look outdated, faded, and out of fashion. the clothes that janelle and i put on today will look strange, my iphone and imac (it's a 2012 model and the future of desktop computers is already up for debate) will be antiquated technology, the kind of things that you'll look back on and wonder how we ever managed to do anything with it. heck, the tesla model 3 is scheduled to come out next year, and by the time you're old enough to care anything about that, it'll be obsolete tech (i'm hoping i'll be driving you around in one before long, but maybe the whole company will be gone by then instead.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">so it's a strange feeling to know that my present is your distant past.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">it seems that these are the things that you start to think about when you get older. and also when you go through life milestones, i suppose. getting married did that to me somewhat, and i'm sure that if all of this had happened when i was 27 instead of 37, i'd probably be writing all of this back when i and all of my friends were much more active bloggers (i blame facebook and the social media revolution for all of that. you can ask me about it when you're in your 20s and starting to care about history and stuff like that.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">yeah, janelle and i are soon going to be parents. it's weird for us. good weird, and maybe not so much weird as just different and unknown. i'm getting to the point where i'm tired of people knowingly smirking and telling us that "life is going to change" once we have children. sure. i get it. it'll be different. we'll wonder what we even did before we had kids (again, that strange feeling of knowing i'm currently in a place that i soon won't be able to remember.) but i heard similar things about getting married, too. "enjoy your freedom." "you won't be able to do [thing] any more once you're married!" did it take some adjusting to? yeah. i didn't have as much free time to noodle on my computer, organizing and pruning my digital life like i used to, or to read all of the articles i saved on my ipad's instapaper app, or to watch as many criterion collection movies as i'd hoped to (although i was in grad school for about five years before that and didn't really have time then, either.) but really, married life with janelle was a pretty smooth and easy transition (i had anxiety before getting married, and we can talk about that sometime if you're interested), and this past year has been, overall, likely the best year of my life. getting married to janelle is one of the best things i've ever done, and she and i are both happier because of it. rather than a dramatic shift, it's mostly been "hey, i've got a teammate for life now!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">and i think we're in a pretty good spot to bring you into this, too.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">we've got your room ready. mostly. there's still some clutter of mine that i need to find a place for, and we're working to make space for the three of us (plus nena the chihuahua!) in our little condo. hopefully we can buy a house in a few years, but janelle and i think we can make it work for the moment. she decided to go with a "space" theme for your room, which i think is totally awesome. so we've got a cute solar system up on the wall above your crib, sheets and blankets with sun and moon and stars on them, and she even sewed a little mobile for you with planets, a rocket ship, astronaut, and a friendly alien.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">we're looking forward to you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">who will you be? will you like to watch movies with me, like i do with my dad? today janelle and i were talking how you'll probably be more familiar with miyazaki movies like "my neighbor totoro" and "castle in the sky" than with disney movies like "the little mermaid" or "mulan." i've read that young children can easily enjoy silent movies, so hopefully you'll laugh at buster keaton with me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">will my they might be giants albums be as intolerable to you as the beatles did to me when my dad would listen to them on his record player? we're going to raise you on their children's albums, so you'll be singing "here come the ABCs" and "here come the 123s" before you're old enough to not like the things your parents like. will you discover R.E.M. when you're a teenager, like i did with music from the 60s? likely my love for kraftwerk will be as appealing as sauerkraut, but you'll learn to like it. also, i just recently developed an interest in frank sinatra, which will no doubt make me seem even older and more uncool already.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">that's another thing: from your perspective, my existence will have always been first and foremost as your father. but dang, i've got 37 years of awesomeness before that (and hopefully after that, too...) i've worked on movies, gone on adventures, driven across the country (twice!), served a mission, gotten excited for the release of harry potter books, watched apple revolutionize the world with the ipod and iphone, and done whatever else. i was a teenager in the 1990s, which seemed like a pretty cool time. that will be 25 years before you were born, making that as distant and unknown as 1954 is for me. weird.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbWolGJ8kIqX950-3OMNRKRZ48vPK9_V3ccXYyCXeDrpljwMjWintslHsICaQF0eJv217vfL88NG7fROsVi9OLewXE3jQTyTgiDBwIU33kLD-7AzGC4WOFxHXLJUIdW55_-HmNEg/s1600/IMG_5946.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbWolGJ8kIqX950-3OMNRKRZ48vPK9_V3ccXYyCXeDrpljwMjWintslHsICaQF0eJv217vfL88NG7fROsVi9OLewXE3jQTyTgiDBwIU33kLD-7AzGC4WOFxHXLJUIdW55_-HmNEg/s320/IMG_5946.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the current "now", which apparently we<br />
one day won't be able to remember</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">i joke that my biggest worry is that you'll be interested in sport and business, two things about which i know very little. really, though, i will take an interest in whatever interests you. what does worry me is your safety. not overly so (janelle and i are both hoping to not be a "dangerism" parent, keeping you from anything that might be the least bit risky), but it's one of those things that i'm starting to think about: all of the things that can happen to you. last monday janelle's cousin val had their first baby, and as janelle and i were touring the hospital where you'll be born, we thought we stop and see val, only to find out that there were complications with the little guy and he had to be flown to the children's hospital in denver. it's been a scary week but things are looking up for their little guy and we're hoping they continue to go well.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">so yes, it can be rough coming into this crazy world, but we do live in 2017, and while that does seem archaic and primitive to you, it's the best we've been able to do so far, and the health technology is heck of a lot better than when i was a baby and i turned out fine (so did my sister, and she came a few months early!) so we're doing all the best we can for you. there are a lot of people really excited to meet you (some of your hart cousins--who will be more like uncles to you--keep telling me how excited they are to meet you, so you've got quite a fan club already), and we're going to do our darnedest to help you out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">we're really hoping to get you some siblings, too, but one thing at a time.</span><br />
<br />--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-2255214910582029102016-12-07T20:49:00.000-07:002016-12-08T21:53:46.946-07:00Mr. F<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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i did pretty well in school and overall liked it. but as i've become an adult and faced the various duties <br />
<br />
and challenges of life, i've mused on the disconnect between the two: in school, there are (usually) right answers and wrong answers, and there's a teacher to tell you if you got the right one or not. if not, they'll tell you what the correct answer is.<br />
<br />
for much of life, it's not really like that. in fact, the more i learn about more things, the more it seems that right/wrong answers are rare. it used to seem that at least going to the doctor was a clear thing: i'm not feeling well, i go to the doctor, they tell me what's wrong with me and how to fix it, i get better and the doctor gets an "A" for that visit. and while much of medicine does work that way (that's the whole point of study and education, to learn how to solve and cure ailments), there's also a reason why second opinions are important, especially in more advanced cases.<br />
<br />
i'm not a doctor, so i won't spend any more time questioning those who went to med school, but will bring it back to what i know about. and this is where it's hard for me, because i'm used to being the A student (and, in later years, the A- minus student. by the time i was in grad school, i was completely content with being the B student.) but i don't get grades on my cinematography or my editing. at best, my client and boss are happy with the work i did, but that's not the same as getting a 100% at the top of the paper. and there are two dangers with getting an A: first, it implied that you've reached the pinnacle, that there's nowhere to go from here. and second, because you've reach the top, why try harder? with the A+, you're already the best there is. no one could be better than on that worksheet.<br />
<br />
i was thinking about this a few months ago as i was shooting a series of interviews in our studio. for much of the day, i was lighting and setting things up under the hope that my boss would like it. i was worried that he wouldn't, and if he did, well then that was all that mattered, right?<br />
well, two things were happening when i was doing this: i was slightly stressed as i was trying to find the "right" lighting and, because of that, i was trying to hit a finite mark. as long as my boss said it was good, that was what i wanted.<br />
<br />
that evening i was thinking about that and realized that i should approach this from a different way. rather than be asking myself "is this shot good? now is it good?", i should be thinking, "ok, that was a good shot, how can i make this next one better? i've done this before, so how i can try something new, or approach this in a new way?" and i should add here that that is precisely the mindset my boss does have and encourages that mentality at the company. so this pressure that i've been feeling is purely self-administered.<br />
<br />
and it seems that i'm not the only one questioning this. that evening my dad was in town and we took him up to look at the fall colors on the mesa. during the drive up, janelle told us how there is a shift in education towards growth-based learning, where kids do more projects and are encouraged to challenge themselves, rather than everyone being asked to answer the same questions. so rather than a subject being very easy for some and very difficult for others, the hope is that students will be progressing for where they are, regardless of where they currently are. this also helps them move away from the "that's right/that's wrong" mentality and to understand that setbacks and even failure are not, heck, not failures, but are part of the growth process.<br />
<br />
there's a scene early in "seven samurai" where the master swordsman, kyuzo, is introduced. he is described as someone who is obsessed only with testing the limits of his own skill (or something like that.) no question of "good or no good," just "and how can i be better?" and as i've thought about this, i realized that i was doing this somewhat at my student job at a&m, where i was the senior videographer. i more or less taught myself everything i learned there (at least about creating a shot), and, with no one to really tell me how to be better (and they were nearly always happy with my work, even when i wasn't), i would often spend time looking over my shots and trying to figure out how i could do the next ones better. but part of why i left that job was because i didn't have anyone to challenge me or help lift me up to the next level.<br />
<br />
and that's where i'm at. i'm trying to adapt myself to that new way of looking at my work (and this really applies to all aspects of life, including relationships, which hadn't occurred to me until just now.)<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_3eq99a2q6ATgrfqEXZT0nKilyFvQqdcMg2-hoAdhO91IYuuRuPfSiV6cIJVTceItH1cboo2H5XvPGKag3wrpGh4bHTaExhs8cVyIJrPzG2HtLwAhmKvMAIaTfIEUOWCRpSZ0wg/s1600/seven+samurai-+kyuzo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_3eq99a2q6ATgrfqEXZT0nKilyFvQqdcMg2-hoAdhO91IYuuRuPfSiV6cIJVTceItH1cboo2H5XvPGKag3wrpGh4bHTaExhs8cVyIJrPzG2HtLwAhmKvMAIaTfIEUOWCRpSZ0wg/s200/seven+samurai-+kyuzo.jpg" width="200" /></a>and i've been given lots of opportunities recently to do just that at work. i've been editing footage that i shot (which is a GREAT way for a cinematographer to learn what shots work and where to improve) and also working on a commercial that i directed. it turned out fine and the client is happy with it, but during production and in post, i've created a mental list of things i wish i'd done, ways i could've prepared more, and what i want to try next time.<br />
<br />
good, better, and... more better, right?--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-41591349736077538302016-11-16T21:28:00.001-07:002016-11-16T21:34:09.594-07:00great<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>November 8 at 10:31am · Grand Junction</i> ·<br />
holding off posting that i voted until i can get my facebook app to again give me the option of joining in the "i voted" activity.<br />
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<i>November 8 at 12:21pm</i> · </div>
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remember in 2004 when the meanest things got was that jibjab video of bush and kerry?</div>
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<i>November 8 at 5:32pm · Grand Junction</i> ·<br />
i really do love that in my office of seven people, there are votes for at least five different presidential candidates.<br />
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<i>November 8 at 8:51pm · Grand Junction</i> ·<br />
i suspect the new outlets are announcing the states that trump has won earlier in the evening to keep the suspense (and ratings) up.<br />
...at least i hope so, because this is the first time during this whole campaign that i've actually been nervous.<br />
😶<br />
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<i>November 8 at 9:52pm · Grand Junction</i> ·<br />
a month or two ago a friend of mine said that he thought there were a lot of people who wanted to vote for trump but were afraid to admit it.<br />
i thought that was a silly idea.<br />
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<i>November 8 at 10:15pm · Grand Junction</i> ·<br />
watching the results and hearing how many counties that voted for obama now voted for trump shows how much people REALLY don't like hilary.<br />
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<i>November 8 at 10:46pm · Grand Junction</i> ·<br />
i feel like i want to watch "dr. strangelove" this weekend...<br />
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<i>November 8 at 10:56pm</i> ·<br />
sometimes it's helpful to laugh...<br />
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<i>November 8 at 11:22pm · Grand Junction</i> ·<br />
janelle pointed out that "back to the future part 2" ended up predicting not only the cubbies but also donald trump/biff tannen.<br />
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<i>November 8 at 11:57pm · Grand Junction</i> ·<br />
anyone watching that colbert thing on showtime?<br />
any good?<br />
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<i>November 9 at 1:09am · Grand Junction</i> ·<br />
y'all can give me crap for saying this, but trump's victory speech was better (more humble and more gracious) than i was expecting.<br />
(although that's not the time nor the crowd to close with "you can't always get what you want." all those people there got exactly what they wanted.)<br />
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<i>November 9 at 6:11am · Grand Junction</i> ·<br />
oh man, you guys, i had the craziest nightmare last night...<br />
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<i>November 9 at 7:41am · Grand Junction</i> ·<br />
the sun still came up this morning.<br />
i think things will be ok.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
it's been over two years since i last hit the "new post" button and have been wanting to get back to writing for a while, and last tuesday was the kickstart i needed.<br />
<br />
i wanted to write last wednesday, to record to my feelings in the moment, because this feels like one of the most notable events in the country's history since 9/11 in terms of an unexpected event that surprised almost everyone. although while that really unified us, this feels to have divided us sharply.<br />
<br />
election nights are usually safely boring. it was cool that obama won in 2008 (he was inspiring and exciting, mccain seemed like a stuffy old man, and the thought of sarah palin being vp was scary), and i figured obama would beat romney in 2012 (and even though i voted for mitt, i liked both of them.) and last tuesday janelle and i (and a lot of the country) thought we'd clearly watch hillary clinton become the first female president and we'd turn it off and get ready for bed around 9:30.<br />
<br />
instead, janelle and i checked the results shortly before going to the grocery store around 8:30 and were surprised that the early reporting states were favoring trump. as i said on facebook, i suspected that the news outlets were holding back announcing the blue clinton states to create some suspense, although for the first time during the whole election season, i was a little nervous.<br />
<br />
but there just wasn't any real chance of this happening. sure, it went from funny to weird as he kept winning the primaries, and him actually getting the nomination was uncomfortable. the republican convention was looking crazier each day and i felt like the republican party was collapsing in on itself and become so far from what most americans wanted. i wondered if there'd be a new major party emerging within a few election cycles.<br />
<br />
nope. the republicans control the house, the senate, and the presidency, and the head of the republican party has recently been named the chief of staff.<br />
i can't bring myself to say that the republicans are doing fine, but they've got plenty of power.<br />
<br />
i suppose it's probably best that the results aren't revealed all at once, like the winner of america's funniest home videos, but are tallied state by state. it softened the blow for all of us, with this gradual realization that, holy crap, this is happening. he's <i>winning</i>.<br />
<br />
either monday or tuesday morning, the new york times gave hillary a 73% chance of winning. a few months ago i read an article looking at the stats and showing that trump would have to win all five key swing states in order to win, and that just wasn't very likely. and as i just looked through my large collection of bookmarked links to unsuccessfully find that article, i saw that most of the articles i've saved had the tone of "there's no chance." and these aren't sites with a hard leftist slant, but mainstream news outlets like the new york times, the washington post, and fivethirtyeight.<br />
<br />
yet while the news came gradually, it was never really a contest. except for perhaps early in the evening before i started watching, trump was always ahead and the lead just increased. the news reporting teams (i ended up settling on whichever one george stephanopolous works with) tried to remain neutral but were visibly as surprised as they knew their viewership was.<br />
<br />
again, for my own record or as a record of the moment for my future children, this was never supposed to happen, in part because there's never been anything this crazy. in 2012, when newt gingrich was briefly ahead as the republican nominee, i got an icky feeling because he seemed about as slimy as they come, but compared to trump, i would've had no problem with gingrich. for all the elections that i can remember-- bush v. dukakis in '88, bush v. clinton (v. perot) in '92, clinton v. dole in '96, bush v. gore in '00 (i was in japan, so didn't really follow that fiasco), bush v. kerry in '04, obama v. mccain in '08, and obama v. romney in '12 --there's usually been one guy i like more than the other, but i was never seriously <strike>worried</strike> <strike>scared</strike> terrified about one of them being the president and the things they might do. sure, maybe i didn't agree with some policies, but whatever. that's politics.<br />
<br />
but this has been different. and when i asked my dad if he'd ever seen anything like this--where someone who openly and blatantly seemed unqualified, unprepared, and dangerously unfit to be president was a serious contender--he didn't have a time, either.<br />
<br />
and that guy won.<br />
<br />
despite needing to get up early in the morning, janelle stayed up with me until around 11:30, when she finally had to go to bed. but i wanted to stay up until the very end for this historic night (although a much different feeling than the historic night when president obama won.)<br />
<br />
we saw footage of the hq where the clinton supporters had gathered, where people were still waiting but in a much more somber mood than they'd been expecting. the stage platform was transparent (glass?) in the shape of the united states, although the podium was empty. the news reporter said that there was a glass ceiling above the stage as part of a victory celebration that would not be broken that night.<br />
<br />
i stayed up until 1:30 a.m. and watched donald trump give his victory acceptance speech in what seemed to be a (surprisingly) moderately decorated hotel ballroom (mom and dad were out in nyc for dad to run the marathon and left that monday morning; mom said that they were in the hilton, which she was told was the hq for trump celebration that night.)<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDHMZ7JxCakwsSMxdvWhFzvxgBkL2VEBx1bTHJ_b7QweaBU8BDAyLFVf0ecpi7PbP3ULjekfGkl___lJ0OX3XWwq3TT2rQi0Dc8jeqy6_nU5QT6I-tyvwa1s2NEOgJzql-cJr96g/s1600/sunrisenov9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDHMZ7JxCakwsSMxdvWhFzvxgBkL2VEBx1bTHJ_b7QweaBU8BDAyLFVf0ecpi7PbP3ULjekfGkl___lJ0OX3XWwq3TT2rQi0Dc8jeqy6_nU5QT6I-tyvwa1s2NEOgJzql-cJr96g/s320/sunrisenov9.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">posted this on facebook the next morning. sad to find out that<br />any sort of optimism was too much for some people.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
he said that he'd gotten off the phone with hillary who conceded the race to him (and what was no doubt the hardest phone call of her life) and the (surprisingly) complimented her being an amazing person and running a difficult and impressive campaign. and then he talked about how it was time to get to work healing and unifying the country after all of this.<br />
i don't remember the rest of the details (and i'm sure they're available somewhere, like <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/10/us/politics/trump-speech-transcript.html">here</a>), but it wasn't nearly as bad as i'd expected. in fact, it was almost kind of good.<br />
<br />
and i went to bed that night with a really weird feeling. it all just seemed so unreal. and thinking about the reality of it all, what it would mean and what would come was too much.--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-48463960936081702462014-09-05T22:29:00.001-06:002014-09-05T22:36:18.363-06:00thesis work<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9MKdDPEfoVBcYS5LqGvqwzLqjrWvwaZ-EPtZmtFd4F_C-rEHb7copi5xJkngUELIaHToL4kzdTN_WGsVOAHnSaGoKQqqCF-qA5zHT0bpcPRevcnLGaA2oYFfUq0sgDn5hiko0Vg/s1600/Hynotic+Pulse-+White+straight_00043.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9MKdDPEfoVBcYS5LqGvqwzLqjrWvwaZ-EPtZmtFd4F_C-rEHb7copi5xJkngUELIaHToL4kzdTN_WGsVOAHnSaGoKQqqCF-qA5zHT0bpcPRevcnLGaA2oYFfUq0sgDn5hiko0Vg/s1600/Hynotic+Pulse-+White+straight_00043.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i’m starting to discover what’s unique about thesis work: it’s something you’re interested in and,
hopefully, something you actually <i>want</i> to be doing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 1.15;">i’m working here at 11:30 on a friday night, not because it’s due on monday morning (it's not, although the start of a new school year is a constant reminder that i've been here too long, but because i’m curious about this and want to see what i can do. </span><span style="line-height: 1.15;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 1.15;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 1.15;">i find myself looking up articles and essays on stan brakhage and wishing i had time to read them, and then reminding myself that that is very much related to what I’m doing. it’s “research,” it just doesn’t feel that way because it’s something i really want to do, not ”something that i’m supposed to do for school.” </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 1.15;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 1.15;">all that being said, i am getting tired and should go home soon, but it’s only so i can get up tomorrow morning and come back here.</span></span></div>
--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-73173658024109236512014-07-08T22:39:00.003-06:002014-07-08T22:39:34.810-06:00dog star man preludei'm too tired to write anything properly, but i wanted to record something.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://dearquitecturasimposibles.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/dog-man-star-1961-1964.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://dearquitecturasimposibles.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/dog-man-star-1961-1964.jpg" width="320" /></a>recently, i decided i was interested in the work of stan brakhage, probably due to things like the preceding post. i rented the discs from the library at the same time that i bought the set from the barnes and noble criterion sale, deciding that, if they were too weird, i could sell my brand new unwanted set and probably even make a little profit.<br />
<br />
tonight i opened my set and continued watching, picking up at the prelude to <i>dog star man</i>.<br />
outwardly, this is "experimental film" at it's most stereotypical. lots of indecipherably blurry camera moves, mash cut with shots of the sun, mountain forests, and extreme closeups of eyes, hair, and whatever else. often, this is overlaid with what appears to be microscopic drops of liquid and other discernible but not wholly recognizable images. and plenty of deliberate scratchings on the film, for good measure. it's all cut together at a frantic pace in a way that the only constant is the kinetic motion of everything. i even asked myself if i would give any thought to this had i unknowingly come across it at a film festival, rather than having it served to me on the silver platter that is the criterion collection.<br />
<br />
and truthfully, not likely. at least, not if i only watched it for a minute or so. but as it went on, i started to feel that this wasn't just some dude putting any weird random images together and deeming it "Art," but that whomever was doing this knew what they were doing. and i say "feel" because that's the only way you can respond to this. there is no verbal way to describe, much less explain, what this is. outwardly, it's a mash of random images, nothing more. but after a while you do sense that there's a purpose to all of this. not necessarily a rhythm (because there isn't), and while there are images that recur--a mountain forest, the sun, a male and female body--this can't be distilled into a "theme." but you feel something.<br />
<br />
and that's ultimately what fascinated me about this: at one about about two-thirds into the (approximately) twenty minute piece, i started to feel some emotional response. i can't even tell you what the emotion was because the film, not having any way for me to comprehensibly identify it, affected me the only way it could, on a more primal sense in the heart, not the mind. and that was an experience i don't think i've ever had with a movie or perhaps even any other work of art.<br />
<br />
i've read of someone worried that they would wake their roommates while watching this, only to remember that it's actually a silent film; there is no sound, yet the images are so powerful and intense, it feels like it must be noisy.<br />
<br />
after the prelude (part 1 looks to be about 25 minutes, while parts 2, 3, and 4 (are there four?) seem to be only a few minutes each; i look forward to watching them later this week), i watched the first video interview with brakhage on the disc and he talked some about <i>dog star man</i>, the film i had just started. he said that he was trying to imagine what the world was like to a baby who didn't know that the grass was the color green, or whose eyes did not "know" what things looked like or signified.<br />
<br />
he kind of nailed it.<br />
<br />
this isn't something for everything, but it's currently one of my favorite things in my collection.--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-25411219963759070372014-06-03T18:21:00.001-06:002014-06-03T18:21:27.396-06:00connections<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihNTRbz6xaFw3JfYHAJHF6-3p_Y-tuX3j963ptqRCzbBOIKxLB3U1pV3Gz-7HK6OSZRD6BsgCErw_kN7dpXOx7IXP7oMLTRt0JBmU7ENfTYgfmA8Lj_LJHOh76URMVDzJ5Z2sJsg/s1600/Norman_MacLaren_14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihNTRbz6xaFw3JfYHAJHF6-3p_Y-tuX3j963ptqRCzbBOIKxLB3U1pV3Gz-7HK6OSZRD6BsgCErw_kN7dpXOx7IXP7oMLTRt0JBmU7ENfTYgfmA8Lj_LJHOh76URMVDzJ5Z2sJsg/s1600/Norman_MacLaren_14.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a>i was listening to a <i>fresh air</i> podcast yesterday where terry gross was talking with david o. russell about <i>american hustle</i>. as he was talking about his own life and his interest in how we all have our "true self" and our "false self" and we reveal/project different aspects of those depending on our situations and how we're feeling. and terry made a comment about how that's just like the characters and themes from <i>american hustle</i>, especially since they had been talking about those ideas in the movie earlier in the interview. but david just said in sincerity, "wow, i'd never even thought of that until you said it."<br />
his work including <br />
<br />
i'm fascinated by those connections, about stepping back and looking at the themes that interest in our own lives in a way that we don't conscientiously realize, but once you identify them, they're plainly visible. in one of my photography courses at byu, our instructor had us all line up our work at the end of the semester so we could see the whole body of work and look for commonalities between them. (unfortunately, i don't remember what my themes were, or even if there were any, other than most of my shots being taken after 1 a.m.)<br />
<br />
today i was in my weekly meeting with dr. parke, telling him about my idea for a portraiture series i'm interested in. i had also been looking into the works of norman mclaren, the canadian experimental animator. i'd picked up a 7-disc set of his off of amazon for $30 a few years ago and had never looked through it much until recently (i actually bought two and kept one sealed. now that the set is out of print, i was able to sell that one for $250. but i don't want to sell this one; it's too wonderful.) and i looked at the work he did just playing with writing on the celluloid itself and was talking with dr. parke about that, wondering what i could do in the modern day, now that we have things like "after effects" to create with. (i could also check out work by stan brakhage, too, i suppose<br />
<br />
after a few minutes, he commented at how the work i've done is the modern-day equivalent to mclaren: he created directly on the celluloid and i have been <a href="http://yousaidyoudbakeusacake.blogspot.com/2011/09/morgul.html">working directly in jpg code to create images</a>.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
my head about exploded.</div>
<br />
just seeing that connection was exciting and spurred to go back and revisit those ideas, and to go with full force what i tried a little earlier this year: messing with video code.<br />
<br />
<br />
i realized another underlying attraction i have today. as i mentioned earlier, i'm interested in doing a series of portraits. just as the norman mclaren set got me thinking about some experimental stuff, i've been going through the second set of the "director's label" dvds, and not only looking at the videos, but also noticing that some of these guys are also very accomplished still photographers, particularly anton corbijn and stéphane sednaoui. and i admittedly know very little about portraiture. i know portraits that i like, but i can't figure out <i>why</i> i like them.<br />
that mystique is enticing to me.<br />
<br />
in fact, it was that same inscrutable attraction that got me into movies in the first place; in 1997 i saw <i>pulp fiction</i> on tv and couldn't figure out what i liked about it yet couldn't stop watching it.<br />
<br />
i've got a lot of details to figure out about this portrait series but i've already got the studio reserved, so it'll be fun to give it a shot and see what i can do with it.--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-31810202226347928292014-04-16T22:36:00.001-06:002014-04-16T22:36:11.053-06:00immediate accessthe ipad is not inherently revolutionary. personal computers are over thirty years old. it's portability is not revolutionary either; laptops have been around for almost as long as desktops. wireless internet is even more than a decade old.<br />
<br />
even the idea of an ipad is older than many of its users. when maya lin visited steve jobs at apple in the 80s, she asked why they didn't make such a product. and computer pioneer and apple mentor(?) alan kay proposed his "dynabook" in the early seventies.<br />
<br />
the ipad is rather the capstone of the personal computing revolution, the summit nexus of so many pioneering technologies. it is better than any of its competition and it is all of them in one. it is a whole music library weighing the same as a sony discman and a few cds. it is lighter than a dvd player and can easily hold a whole season of a television series. it's about the size of a hardcover book while offering the contents of your entire bookshelf. it's more portable and accessible than any laptop ever was.<br />
<br />
whether in libraries of print or the digital internet, the concept of near-limitless information is nothing new. but never has it been more immediately accessible. it not longer requires even the nuisance of having to go sit at a chair at a desk to use the internet. for many people, it is at our side if not already in our hands.<br />
<br />
where much has been given, much is required.--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-26362107652790525272014-04-15T18:55:00.000-06:002014-04-15T19:01:38.878-06:00potential informationi'm working on my thesis work for my mfa here at school and, being me, i'm more comfortable and agile in writing that i am in directly creating work, so i'm taking time to write as much as i want then use that for the foundation to explore my work. and i'm writing here because i don't yet have any other space set up in which to write, and rather than making a new place, SgtH is already here and is a comfortable space for me. i will likely copy some of this work to another more formal space when i get one created, but for now, this is my favorite space.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Admin/BkFill/Default_image_group/2010/6/3/1275578130054/Apples-Steve-Jobs-iPad-006.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Admin/BkFill/Default_image_group/2010/6/3/1275578130054/Apples-Steve-Jobs-iPad-006.jpg" height="192" width="320" /></a></div>
i'm fascinated by my ipad. when it first came out, i thought it was the ultimate luxury item (it could be argued that apple only makes luxury items, but i'm not going to get into that here, because i'm not sure that's entirely accurate), nothing more than an oversized iphone (but without the phone.) once i got to actually use one for a little bit, i soon realized i wanted one. i bought my ipad with retina display the day they were released and since then have repeatedly marveled at it. while it obviously wasn't planned to be this way, it's fitting that the ipad (or, the ipad 2, to be more specific) was the last of the "insanely great" products that steve jobs introduced, as it seems be all that embodies apple.<br />
<br />
it's large enough to be practical for reading, writing, drawing, and creating, but small enough to be inherently portable and instantly accessible. and it can easily carry more information than was ever in the library of alexandria or any other source of knowledge since then. setting aside even the infinite direct source of a world wide web browser like safari or chrome, the amount of information potentially available on an ipad is intimidating.<br />
<br />
yes, the internet has had "all this information" available to us for free for over 20 years now. and libraries have have been doing that for centuries. but even in 2006, we had to be seated at a computer that was plugged into the wall. now, it's in our pockets and very often immediately in our hands. in my iBooks app alone, i have 75 books, the vast majority of which define "classics": mark twain, victor hugo, charles dickens, and their cronies. and they are all free downloads. perhaps they have been available on the internet for years, but reading a book on a computer screen is extremely prohibitive. now, the barnes & noble paperback classics editions for $8 are irrelevant; these books are free.<br />
i could edge the percentage up a little higher by arguing for inclusion of dr. seuss's "the 500 hats of bartholomew cubbins" and even the storybook version of a charlie brown christmas, but i currently have only preview samples. in fact, i have only paid for two ibooks: breaking bad's "alchemy" (an enhanced book for the ipad) and a $3 collection of interviews about steve jobs, compiled into book form.<br />
<br />
that is one app. i have at least four different news source apps--al jazeera, the bbc, cnn, and npr--as well as web content aggregators such as pulse and flipboard, which compile content based on topics i am interested in. i think have watched a few talks on my TED talks app, and while i have looked through iTunes U, offering courses from hundreds of universities (including my current school, texas a&m, although i didn't see my undergrad, byu), offering courses on things i find interesting like astronomy and the history of animation, i have yet to dive into any of the coursework i've picked out.<br />
not to make things too stuffy, i've also got a row for reddit, the onion, cracked, and, sigh, even buzzfeed.<br />
<br />
i have a camera, iphoto, photoshop elements (which is essentially iphoto), and photoshop touch for doing really serious work (i haven't done any yet.) autodesk's sketchbook pro and two dj mixing turntable apps, three apps to learn piano, and one app for stop animation. there are two apps to learn chinese and two more for me to practice my japanese (which i do speak, although the blue dots next to the apps remind me that i have never opened these.) i have two different sky maps apps for finding stars, planets, and constellations, and globes of both the moon and mars next to my google earth map.<br />
<br />
in addition to my ibooks, i have a bible app that offers more versions of the bible than any lay person knew existed, the qur'an, and a library of latter-day saint scriptures. i have a 3-D model of the human skeleton plus models and photographs of human anatomy that i don't even know how extensive it is. and also a textbook app that allows me to cross-check the potency of mixing medications. i don't take any medications, but it was on the app store.<br />
i paid $10 for a cookbook app promising how to cook eveything, yet a free app that collects and aggregates user-submitted recipes has proven much more helpful. i have at least four different clocks/timers/alarm clocks but never found an need for them (that's what phones are for), and can never decide which of my two weather apps to use, so i use them both.--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-80227043872863766762014-02-02T22:31:00.001-07:002014-02-02T22:32:49.188-07:00r.i.p. p.s.h.i found this list of celebrity tweets that really kind of touched me and wanted to share it.<br />
<div>
i'll preface it with what i wrote in my journal this evening:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
it was sad to me not only because he was one of the best actors around these days and i mourn that he’ll never again work with p.t. anderson, but because i figured he was better than this. he seemed smarter and classier. i wrote on facebook that i expected to be seeing him get a “lifetime achievement” award at the oscars in 40 years or something.</blockquote>
</div>
<br />
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<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
</blockquote>
--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-1104253889709935812014-01-22T22:34:00.001-07:002014-01-22T22:34:54.398-07:00the sunset of versaillei left work at just the right time today. behind our building is "research park," a nice park that includes small lake witha bridge. i walked out the back door to the parking lot just as the sun was burning on the horizon below the clouds, and with the way it was reflecting off the lake it made for a beautiful scene.<br />
i took a moment appreciate it, even snapped a picture on my phone, then got in my car.<br />
<br />
<br />
as i was leaving research park, i noticed that everything about me was suddenly orange. i look to my left and saw what was probably the most beautiful sunset i have ever seen. we've all seen "beautiful sunsets" and have taken time to admire them. this was beyond that. this was a baroque sunset from the palace of versaille (this is seriously what it felt like <a href="http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/32100000/Palace-of-Versailles-palaces-32170358-1130-756.jpg">this</a>.) the clouds spread across the sky like a textured ceiling and the sunset covered them in brilliant fiery gold. they stretched as far as i could see across the texas landscape and everything was bathed in golden light for the moment.<br />
<br />
that was it.<br />
just a moment.<br />
<br />
maybe two.<br />
<br />
then the sky went back to being a just beautiful sunset and soon dusk settled in.<br />
but for a few fleeting minutes, the sky was on fire with golden clouds.<br />
<br />
and i saw it.<br />
<br />
<br />
(this photo doesn't do it justice--not that photos ever do--but i stole it from my friend's facebook post because at least it was something.)<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioZjUoNY1l_-fpKvsbDyRp0oaNBlzCLmK3XbVNcBc5N-GdPFvjB6YpUJjgLFI9-Zi00iGObF8u47csTr9llyZYcWZ1a9aocJpRP-xbCHGkg1kjP6wht4SuhAnhHeWH2ySfVPSB2Q/s1600/macey_clouds.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioZjUoNY1l_-fpKvsbDyRp0oaNBlzCLmK3XbVNcBc5N-GdPFvjB6YpUJjgLFI9-Zi00iGObF8u47csTr9llyZYcWZ1a9aocJpRP-xbCHGkg1kjP6wht4SuhAnhHeWH2ySfVPSB2Q/s1600/macey_clouds.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photo by macey pendergast</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-50304219627856622762013-12-15T22:44:00.001-07:002013-12-15T22:44:47.796-07:00practice what you preach<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPV8e3OBdcgoaF75dXNT8eOzUcLDQdNopu3IWdYbzkII6_kggaY9XllCtbHCBcn0HTbpKJqcP6C4JXIc2TuSiDyiT-06YSpqRqrEPa0tVeAn4YAB2YfXevPHRsQ4ddvjAqDCjFXQ/s1600/darth+vader-+carbonite+chamber.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPV8e3OBdcgoaF75dXNT8eOzUcLDQdNopu3IWdYbzkII6_kggaY9XllCtbHCBcn0HTbpKJqcP6C4JXIc2TuSiDyiT-06YSpqRqrEPa0tVeAn4YAB2YfXevPHRsQ4ddvjAqDCjFXQ/s200/darth+vader-+carbonite+chamber.jpg" width="157" /></a>last week i was sitting in sunday school and look ahead to the next lesson, which turned out to be "putting on the whole armor of God." and since the teacher that day confessed that she found out about five minutes before class that she was teaching, i suspected that maybe no one was assigned to teach next sunday and later asked the sunday school president if i could. yes.<br />
<br />
so, on facebook i commented that i had sat through a year's worth of lessons in the family ward about how we can be better husbands, wives, and parents, but now i'm teaching and we will be learning about darth vader. it got a lot of likes which left me feeling cool, but one of my friends from school messaged me and said that he'd never been to a mormon church before and that my darth vader lesson sounded like the perfect time to visit.<br />
<br />
i warned him that our sunday service consists of three hour-long meetings and that it will be our Christmas program as well, so it won't be quite a normal sunday but that he was more than welcome to come. that didn't seem to deter him and he asked for directions to the chapel.<br />
later in the week, though, he said that he remembered a friend had a wedding on sunday and so he wouldn't be able to come after all. i was a little disappointed but it was no big deal.<br />
<br />
as we were getting ready to sing the sacrament hymn today, my roommate next to me motioned to invite someone to sit next to us and, when i looked up, i saw that it was my friend. he sat down next to me and said that he couldn't find the time of the wedding and since he was already dressed up, he decided to come to church. there wasn't time to do much welcoming or explaining as the sacrament was being blessed and passed, since i try to make that a very sacred and reverent time, but when it was finished, i tried to give a few basic explanations, such as why 12-year old boys are officiating in sacramental ordinances and the like.<br />
<br />
i also kind of regretted not finishing my lesson earlier and felt a little sheepish working on it during the meeting. after the closing prayer was given, several people came up to him and introduced themselves, welcoming him to the ward and earning major points. it was really cool to see, actually, and he seemed to appreciate it.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY3LFvJgvARIpzfQE0C9Omkt6tHduPYlUX83wt5vQoOrY9pRZhVMHsoXPEozS6Fj27sCkSOF-1AIL3Trx1Z8PH43QluEcaXlfGj2l-EO_kZYsKfnXAHXWzGrtiakbW7fadSNr_Jw/s1600/darth+vader-+unmasked.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="111" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY3LFvJgvARIpzfQE0C9Omkt6tHduPYlUX83wt5vQoOrY9pRZhVMHsoXPEozS6Fj27sCkSOF-1AIL3Trx1Z8PH43QluEcaXlfGj2l-EO_kZYsKfnXAHXWzGrtiakbW7fadSNr_Jw/s200/darth+vader-+unmasked.jpg" width="200" /></a>my lesson in sunday school was "putting on the whole armor of God," and i used darth vader as my example: he is the strongest and toughest guy in the galaxy, pretty much unstoppable. but, as we learn at the end of <i>return of the jedi</i>, outside of his armor, he's weak and frail; he can't survive without it. spiritually speaking, we're about the same. with the armor of God, the protection that comes from living the commandments, we're strong and safe, protected from the ubiquitous fiery darts of the adversary. but if we do things that weaken that protection, that take us outside of the safety of the commandments, we are just as vulnerable as vader.<br />
as the sith lord says in his final battle against luke, "you are unwise to lower your defenses!"<br />
<br />
<br />
that's really about as far as we got in the lesson. we talked about the different parts of the armor of God, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, the sword of the Spirit of God, the breastplate of righteousness, and the rest, how they can protect and strengthen us and what we need to do to have that protection. the discussion and comments that were generated were so good that i barely got to page three of my eight pages of notes. there were no crazy people in the class (thank you!) and my friend even raised his hand to make a really good comment.<br />
<br />
in the last sever or eight minutes, though, i did touch on the remainder of the lesson plan, namely three ways that we need to keep ourself protected: chastity, honesty, and language. as i was preparing it and as i was teaching, i scrutinized myself a little more deeply because my friend was there.<br />
<br />
most people at church don't know me outside of church. in fact, i can't think of anyone who does apart from my roommate. so they only see me on sunday, being my sunday self. but my friend from school has seen me at school. at parties. out on the weekends. he was part of our team when we did the <i>back to the future</i> movie in the spring, when i was stressed and tired and wanting to throw myself in front of a speeding delorean at 4 a.m.<br />
now he was visiting my church. as i was writing notes for my lesson, i had to review myself. had i lived <br />
up to what i would be preaching in a few minutes? was there anything in my conduct that would reflect poorly on what a latter-day saint should be? had i acted contrary to what i would be preaching in sunday school?<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiARO66SF-5qd51mIsrZpiPSha-S5ncwz2xslSrHsSHKjZObu7LfUuGB6Fdry7g4v-0BrizW0-OEwkaIOTKvR8RCsulO4yU2CAwIXEoeZAoCqjTCbSoI5BnXS1wDFeBo-xk3KCIng/s1600/darth+vader-+I+find+your+lack+of+faith+disturbing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiARO66SF-5qd51mIsrZpiPSha-S5ncwz2xslSrHsSHKjZObu7LfUuGB6Fdry7g4v-0BrizW0-OEwkaIOTKvR8RCsulO4yU2CAwIXEoeZAoCqjTCbSoI5BnXS1wDFeBo-xk3KCIng/s200/darth+vader-+I+find+your+lack+of+faith+disturbing.jpg" width="200" /></a>i couldn't think of anything. i wasn't perfect or entirely without fault, but i couldn't think of anything i had done or said that would undermine what i was preparing to teach.<br />
that was a good feeling and also a good reminder that we never really know when someone is watching us.--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-89534595834443914062013-11-21T22:24:00.000-07:002013-11-21T23:37:50.455-07:00always crashing in the same car<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvHT-W7TFHAhdzElCoHl_4ZXkXSyFbAkVTfqQIHi95Ady32uQX2Swy4Ie92P-QmANTaQ1yBoFA00mgtcOt7FDCTPOFp7Zt7mIM3L2aJYnTkc1lAHKC3bETun_I-FKbpsmiEBU3kQ/s1600/eels-electroshockblues.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvHT-W7TFHAhdzElCoHl_4ZXkXSyFbAkVTfqQIHi95Ady32uQX2Swy4Ie92P-QmANTaQ1yBoFA00mgtcOt7FDCTPOFp7Zt7mIM3L2aJYnTkc1lAHKC3bETun_I-FKbpsmiEBU3kQ/s200/eels-electroshockblues.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
there's the story of a man who was caught in a flood and so he prayed to God that He would save him.<br />
soon, a woman in a raft came by and offered to help him out of the water.<br />
"thank you," said the man, "but i am waiting for God to save me."<br />
so the raft went on and the flood waters continued to rise.<br />
<br />
after a while, a woman in a motorboat came by and told the man to get in to safety.<br />
"no," said the man. "i am waiting for God to save me."<br />
the boat moved on and the flooding got worse.<br />
<br />
eventually, the floodwaters were dangerously high and there seemed to be little hope left. no boats were in sight, but helicopter found the man.<br />
"come with us!" said the pilot, "and we can rescue you!"<br />
"go on without me," said the man. "God will save me."<br />
<br />
and soon, the man drowned.<br />
<br />
in heaven, he asked God why He didn't help him.<br />
"but I did," said the Lord. "I sent you a raft, a boat, and even a helicopter."<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
~</div>
<br />
it wouldn't be <i>sheep go to heaven</i> without an angsty post now, would it?--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-62017368241269902132013-11-20T20:49:00.003-07:002013-11-20T20:50:41.249-07:00in the meantime<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>He locked the gates and vanished
completely. And then suddenly, about [nine months] later, the
most amazing thing happened. The factory started working
again, full blast! And more delicious candies were coming
out than ever before.</i></blockquote>
<br />
i didn't mean to be gone so long but i can't tell you how good it feels to be writing again.<br />
<br />
last winter was a very busy time for me at school. by the time the semester slowed down at the start of may, i felt like i couldn't just start writing again out of the blue; i felt like i needed to have a "reason" to start writing again, and so i told myself that i wouldn't write until i'd designed a new header and look for <i>sheep go to heaven</i>.<br />
<br />
that sounded simple but took longer than i expected. in the end, the new lettering was done not by me but by the editor-in-chief at <i><a href="http://sparkpluginthesea.blogspot.com/">warm fuzzies & hand snuggleez</a></i>. if not for her, our in house design team would probably still be messing with the fonts up above there.<br />
<br />
so, let me tell you a bit of what i've been up to since february 21st...<br />
<br />
the spring 2013 semester was supposed to be one in which i could spend a lot of time working on the animation project that i had in mind as my m.f.a. work. i also had one more required class, the one in which we put on the department's annual public art show. we had to either take that class or have an internship, and since i didn't have that, i had to take the dang class.<br />
<br />
i wasn't looking forward to this, since i had already done film festivals at byu as well as working at sundance for a few years (actually, i never really helped plan byu's film festival, but in this instance i liked to think that i had.) one of the major aspects of this class was the creation of what are known as the "interstitials," videos that help break up the show, since some of the technical demonstration videos can get a little dry, especially to outsiders.<br />
<br />
despite my inclination to avoid them, i ended up being the director of the interstitial team after suggesting we do a "back to the future" video since this was our 20th "viz-a-gogo" show. it took over my life for the rest of the semester, had me frustrated for various reasons throughout, although i learned a ton about producing and directing, even though it was a silly video from a crew of non-film students. (learning to lower my standards and expectations was extremely difficult.)<br />
<br />
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we did manage to get an actual delorean car for the shoot, which was actually much easier than i ever expected when i posited the idea in class. i even got to drive it back home when we were done filming early in the morning. (letting someone drive it also proved to be a great motivation for tired crew members.)</div>
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they don't have power steering so they're kind of a bugger to control and the speedometer only went up to 85 mph. go figure.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZoOq-Uq9cZoacu7nKpDPAGkJMf-bLd7EA8QZAnzLO8WT-wMRB0c7autRugrXBan7ZHfDo_ZjGHSdC_gyK3K0-15-SaCvgSKyt_cTy4nKoDzdmaEILgZH-h9e1o87MbMqYa8WzNw/s1600/delorean2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZoOq-Uq9cZoacu7nKpDPAGkJMf-bLd7EA8QZAnzLO8WT-wMRB0c7autRugrXBan7ZHfDo_ZjGHSdC_gyK3K0-15-SaCvgSKyt_cTy4nKoDzdmaEILgZH-h9e1o87MbMqYa8WzNw/s320/delorean2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
but they really attract a crowd and i quickly learned that owners are willing to share them. which seemed odd to me at first, since i figured they'd be viewed as a precious luxury. but i think the truth is that, if you have a delorean, you want to show it off, especially for "back to the future"-related stuff.<br />
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<br />
as if that wasn't enough work, we also made this cake. it's 2 feet by 3 feet, took about 15 cake mixes (if i remember correctly) and 11 pounds of powdered sugar in the frosting alone. not to mention baking for two nights straight.<br />
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<br />
that semester i also took the advanced scuba class and got certified as an advanced open water diver. some friends from school were getting married in florida so we took that as an excuse to go on a diving trip in the gulf of mexico.<br />
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<br />
while i was filming "viz to the future", i got an internship with adobe in san jose, california (literally while i was filming: the crew had to wait while i stepped out to get the details of my offer.) so, a few days after i got back from florida, i left on a four-day car trip to northern california.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggMutpNe0attuQok7XCG_-uH9S2fcCy_AQ0YGPREzbxW92eo1-lO0cE0zs4IKui90kuMHykbu_jSBf2BaEIQx_6XV1tkuvO6DqRasjfOcbdryu24Xruvuu1iMynxX0RIgw8-wh6g/s1600/alamo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggMutpNe0attuQok7XCG_-uH9S2fcCy_AQ0YGPREzbxW92eo1-lO0cE0zs4IKui90kuMHykbu_jSBf2BaEIQx_6XV1tkuvO6DqRasjfOcbdryu24Xruvuu1iMynxX0RIgw8-wh6g/s320/alamo.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
it was the best road trip i've ever been on. we saw the alamo, carlsbad caverns, and the san diego zoo. we ate great food and found excellent hotels, fancy and creepy.<br />
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<br />
oh, yeah, and the <i>full house</i> house. which, despite me hating the show growing up while my sister watched it, was perhaps my favorite thing on the san francisco tour.<br />
<br />
a few weeks after being at adobe, we had a week off for the fourth of july. and since i was on the coast, my brother and his wife were two hours north of me, and my sister & co. were in seattle, my parents came out and we got together at a beach house it oregon. good times were had by all.<br />
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<br />
being at adobe was exciting. my first few days were petrifying, as i was sure i was out of my league there. but it soon became normal, my day job, and there was something really cool about how natural it all felt. although i tried to always appreciate how cool it was that i was working on the twelfth floor of the corporate headquarters for adobe.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7tHM34gmApp5_NpcNBeHR0hEsOEE9GwOhuuW_cJvgAVy8kEQ0dX3F2s1aco8elHd-83-lSftX9tAia3Kq-liOPsFeKV9Sr2NGauipiHl-jddAhy4oKmTrakdbU4BNdnXvwAJWrg/s1600/adobe-pillows.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7tHM34gmApp5_NpcNBeHR0hEsOEE9GwOhuuW_cJvgAVy8kEQ0dX3F2s1aco8elHd-83-lSftX9tAia3Kq-liOPsFeKV9Sr2NGauipiHl-jddAhy4oKmTrakdbU4BNdnXvwAJWrg/s320/adobe-pillows.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">i'm the one holding Sg (for speedgrade)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
the intern community there was pretty active, too. and while i kind of got tired of hanging around kids ten years younger than me, it was where i was at and we had fun together.<br />
<div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8IlRlE1BeN-J2GvQc8lxSqtHhM2Tf1C9_ZlVRANRi-UT3BV9unUCqzjR3Z8oJJDV9dExntCyvX-OL3JFmpfQTLJ1VOPGM_eISoF_Wd0lvYOFOhiQKtVluN3EqaRZy76M3JYTXyQ/s1600/falafel-adobe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8IlRlE1BeN-J2GvQc8lxSqtHhM2Tf1C9_ZlVRANRi-UT3BV9unUCqzjR3Z8oJJDV9dExntCyvX-OL3JFmpfQTLJ1VOPGM_eISoF_Wd0lvYOFOhiQKtVluN3EqaRZy76M3JYTXyQ/s320/falafel-adobe.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">at falafel's drive-in, the best falafel you'll ever have</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
while i was out there i met a cute hair stylist who cut my hair for me. i'd kind of planned to get it cut at the end of my internship there, but she certainly sped up the process.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU6L_2UzQH3h5sfwJiFck1ySrudiQk1faLuEDuWmvvFzOHFd9Ey_ddIt6JvP9_jFG0H2r4Y3c6h_jbSPL01e1V-JwehNNakixGyA5Zvt2qTThrtvwIqvRmd_I0eTNuX3TAYpwMjw/s1600/gwyn+on+the+hilll.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU6L_2UzQH3h5sfwJiFck1ySrudiQk1faLuEDuWmvvFzOHFd9Ey_ddIt6JvP9_jFG0H2r4Y3c6h_jbSPL01e1V-JwehNNakixGyA5Zvt2qTThrtvwIqvRmd_I0eTNuX3TAYpwMjw/s320/gwyn+on+the+hilll.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
i loved living in the bay area. apple was about fiften minutes from where i lived. google was a few exits from adobe. facebook was a little further. and pixar was on the other side of the bay from san francisco.<br />
<br />
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on my way back to texas, we went through albuquerque and did a little sight-seeing.</div>
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">i may or may not have made a giddy yelp when we came down the street</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
and while i've been doing all of this, my parents bought a house in oregon and then unexpectedly sold our house in minnesota. so, tomorrow morning, my mom and dad will be leaving moorhead, mn, permanently. we will be celebrating the holidays in a new house, probably without any snow.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">goodbye</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
a lot has happened in the last nine months. the irony is, because so much was happening, i didn't have time to write about it. and that's kind of a shame.<br />
<br />
it's meant a lot to me how many people have told me that they miss my blog, or have told me that other people (whom i don't even know!) have told them that they miss my blog.<br />
<br />
and it's good to be back.<br />
<br />
jeff gustafson<br />
editor-in-chief<br />
<i>sheep go to heaven</i><br />
<br />--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-8060554468799721092013-02-20T23:09:00.003-07:002013-02-20T23:16:37.186-07:00blue skies by noah and the whale<div style="text-align: right;">
dear blog::</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
i've noticed something about relationships. you can say that even though i don't write here anymore, things are still the same. but that's not true. our bodies need constant nourishment. our souls need constant nourishment. and so do our relationships. if i stop writing with you, things are different, even if i don't want them to be.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
i've spent the last half hour reading through old posts and rereading comments whilst discovering new ones (thanks, lj.) i love this blog. i really do. and i miss writing in it. but i'm busy with school and work and life and don't have the same unquenchable need to write that i used to have. and that was part of why i loved this blog so much; i wrote here because i <i>had</i> to.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
honestly, it even feels a little different writing now, just because, well, we haven't written in a while. and i don't like that. i don't even think i realized things had gotten like this.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
i'll try to talk more. you're still my blog.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
-->jeff *</div>
--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-80414830321229387722013-02-04T00:02:00.001-07:002013-02-04T00:03:53.407-07:00my 2012<br />
for last four years or so, i've filled out this list of questions looking back at the previous year. i'm about a month later than i'd like, but i'm still doing it.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before? </b><br />
<a href="http://yousaidyoudbakeusacake.blogspot.com/2012/04/dc-part-1-job.html">shot a commercial in washington, d.c.</a>, <a href="http://yousaidyoudbakeusacake.blogspot.com/2012/05/just-when-i-thought-id-done-it-all.html">went on a date to watch a building implode</a>, participated in a <a href="http://yousaidyoudbakeusacake.blogspot.com/2012/06/art-review-jeff-on-jeff.html">couple of different</a> <a href="http://yousaidyoudbakeusacake.blogspot.com/2012/10/hiccup.html">art shows</a>, <a href="http://yousaidyoudbakeusacake.blogspot.com/2012/09/blackbird.html">improved my ballroom dancing</a>, learned judo and scuba, went to the houston space museum with my parents, toured the blue bell ice cream factory (<a href="http://yousaidyoudbakeusacake.blogspot.com/2012/11/busy-weekend.html">twice</a>) and also the cotton gin museum (neve did get around to blogging about those; shame), <a href="http://yousaidyoudbakeusacake.blogspot.com/2012/10/reno-911.html">called 911</a> (twice-ish), went to <a href="http://yousaidyoudbakeusacake.blogspot.com/2012/11/boston-in-fall.html">boston in the fall</a>, saw nick warren in concert (he was cool, concert was lame), got to <a href="http://yousaidyoudbakeusacake.blogspot.com/2012/12/little-lion-man.html">practice riding horses</a>, and made a dog vomit up an avocado pit.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyxAeiq_5xM23pFVnr4bOPYSmv9sWMfIsD2J23QtOjFlWYQjhoSRDypZPSe4jNYXe7o2hgBSN3Fsz3yyhEu1fl1MlmPs4ZxnVQMcIYBgz7gJsK01eNB3f-PjlcVm4Ejstrk0SEJw/s1600/nickWarrenThanks.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="61" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyxAeiq_5xM23pFVnr4bOPYSmv9sWMfIsD2J23QtOjFlWYQjhoSRDypZPSe4jNYXe7o2hgBSN3Fsz3yyhEu1fl1MlmPs4ZxnVQMcIYBgz7gJsK01eNB3f-PjlcVm4Ejstrk0SEJw/s400/nickWarrenThanks.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<b>Did you keep your new years' resolutions? </b><br />
not really.<br />
<br />
<b>What are some of your resolutions for 2013</b>?<br />
i have three areas that i'm trying to focus on:<br />
<ul>
<li>school/thesis/career</li>
<li>financial planning and saving, even small steps while i'm still living on student worker pay</li>
<li>physical activity and health, which my kickboxing class is helping immensely</li>
</ul>
<br />
<b>Did anyone close to you get married? </b><br />
brooke, rocio, and <a href="http://yousaidyoudbakeusacake.blogspot.com/2012/08/mark.html">mark</a>.<br />
(not to each other)<br />
<br />
<b>Did anyone close to you give birth? </b><br />
my sister how has a little daughter and i have a niece.<br />
<br />
<b>Did anyone close to you die? </b><br />
i think the closest was when mca of the beastie boys past away.<br />
<br />
<b>What countries did you visit? </b><br />
i ventured outside of texas a few times.<br />
<br />
<b>What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012? </b><br />
a "do anything or nothing with" friend within a reasonable distance.<br />
preferably a girl.<br />
but i'd be ok with another guy friend.<br />
or a monkey.<br />
<br />
<b>What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? </b><br />
december 9, because it was a rough day and i was reminded that i have great friends across the country who know and love me despite my crazinesses.<br />
<br />
<b>What was your biggest achievement of the year? </b><br />
<a href="http://yousaidyoudbakeusacake.blogspot.com/2012/08/party-like-its-2009.html">mark's bachelor party</a>.<br />
<br />
<b>What was your biggest failure? </b><br />
my new year's eve out on the town in minneapolis.<br />
<br />
<b>Did you suffer illness or injury? </b><br />
<a href="http://yousaidyoudbakeusacake.blogspot.com/2012/07/mano-mono.html">i got mono</a>. that was one for the books.<br />
<br />
<b>What was the best thing you bought? </b><br />
my ipad.<br />
i make sure that i use it for as much as possible so that i'm getting my money's worth.<br />
<br />
<b>Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? </b><br />
i've got one friend (that none of you know) that's earning this.<br />
<br />
<b>Where did most of your money go? </b><br />
let's be honest: tuition and rent.<br />
<br />
<b>What did you get really, really, really excited about? </b><br />
singing rock band with the gang again. : )<br />
<br />
<b>What song will always remind you of 2012? </b><br />
i hate to admit it, but i know all the words to taylor swift's "we are never ever getting back together."<br />
my total guilty pleasure.<br />
<br />
<b>Compared to this time last year, are you: much happier, richer, nicer? </b><br />
not richer, probably happier and at least nicer, i hope.<br />
<br />
<b>What do you wish you'd done more of? </b><br />
thesis work.<br />
<br />
<b>What do you wish you'd done less of? </b><br />
trying to think of something more creative yet still valid than "waste time"...<br />
<br />
<b>How did you spend Christmas? </b><br />
joyfully, with my whole extended family in minnesota.<br />
and scanning a lot of pictures.<br />
<br />
<b>Did you fall in love in 2012?</b><br />
no, but i really tried.<br />
<br />
<b>What was your favorite TV program? </b><br />
breaking bad.<br />
best show <a href="http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6763000/bad-decisions">ever</a>.<br />
(and speaking of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5y_Kd9ZoA6Q&list=FLtozTSipvFoHiGGxitJDzvQ&index=3">my taylor swift comment</a> a few lines ago... thanks, <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL-57CLqklO1xhLCjGll5UghTGASnnx_1Q2lkAkQeQOVlv55g2or3RwXkS_GgYLxCkXzuhWz-MdOTJKrrcyt__GT6-YYmUDDOnK7H1kJwqIAjJ2ds2MfoPDI0oZkKDRTcMW-wc/s1600/mst3kjoel.jpg">786</a>)<br />
<br />
<b>What was the best book you read this year? </b><br />
um, i ended up reading the <i>steve jobs</i> biography again, since it was on my ipad and so dang fascinating.<br />
<br />
<b>What did you want and get? </b><br />
a new red ipod nano. i love it and use it every day.<br />
<br />
<b>What were your favorite films of this year? </b><br />
i haven't seen very much at all, unfortunately, but i really loved <i>moonrise kingdom</i>, and am still ok calling that my favorite of the year.<br />
<br />
and, of course, <i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTLySbGoMX0&list=FLtozTSipvFoHiGGxitJDzvQ&index=2">paperman</a></i>.<br />
if that doesn't win best short at the oscars, there are problems. big problems.<br />
<br />
<b>What were your least favorite films of this year? </b><br />
again, i can't think of much that i saw, but i was expecting a lot more from <i>brave</i>.<br />
<br />
<b>What were your favorite albums of this year? </b><br />
i remember a few years ago realizing that i was watching a lot of movies but that my exposure to music, especially new music, had kind of stagnated.<br />
now, being at a computer for much of the day, i have plenty of time to explore music (spotify, i love you) yet don't have the time to watch movies very much.<br />
<br />
of monsters and men's "my head is an animal" is certainly influenced by the hipster bands that i love right now (arcade fire, the decembrists, et al) and is a great album.<br />
but i think i'm going to vote for regina spektor's "what we saw from the cheap seats" just because i want to.<br />
ne me quitte pas<br />
<br />
<b>What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? </b><br />
took the chance and had a birthday party with friends here in texas.<br />
it was a great success and we had some good rounds of rock band into the night.<br />
<br />
<b>What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? </b><br />
to find my other half, someone who "fits."<br />
i feel like i talk about it a lot, and i probably do.<br />
i'm trying to live my life and enjoy all that i have, because i do have a lot and i do enjoy it. but there's still a part of me that feels incomplete, and i'm still searching for that.<br />
<br />
<b>How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012? </b><br />
getting better. i've realized i like girls who look nice and am trying to do likewise.<br />
<br />
<b>What kept you sane? </b><br />
getting to give creative input <a href="http://yousaidyoudbakeusacake.blogspot.com/2012/11/the-grey-area.html">on this</a> was a lot of fun.<br />
but the punching bag at the rec center helped a lot, too.<br />
<br />
<b>Who did you miss? </b><br />
all those good friends who are 1,000+ miles away.<br />
especially sariah, jess, and katy.<br />
i miss jaime, too.<br />
<br />
<b>Who was the best new person (people) you met? </b><br />
if you told me a year ago that kylee would be one of my closest friends in college station, i wouldn't've believed you.<br />
<br />
<b>Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012. </b><br />
as the rolling stones said,<br />
"you can't always get what you want<br />
you can't always get what you want"<br />
<br />
<b>What are you most excited for in 2013? </b><br />
for the second half of the chorus:<br />
"but if you try sometimes<br />
you just might find you get what you need"<br />
<br />
<b>What are you least excited for in 2013? </b><br />
i'll theoretically be graduating this year, and while i am dearly ready to be done with school, there's a lot to be done before then.--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-48763678966475678732013-01-22T11:43:00.001-07:002013-01-22T11:48:42.087-07:00someday we'll find itthe lovers<br />
the dreamers<br />
and me<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcCVQV_nM1EsKWnMEqz698vEAlV_JbE1SaJXBY3iQfDl_CXti0x4hnpX5EZEgZL3rPxNlbIf8qGBx7eex6OqafvK9RlRiwM9Jz8AJ452x5JhgT2d6NZoMxMOF2o3_IvcO1TreoZw/s1600/hardtimesfordreamers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcCVQV_nM1EsKWnMEqz698vEAlV_JbE1SaJXBY3iQfDl_CXti0x4hnpX5EZEgZL3rPxNlbIf8qGBx7eex6OqafvK9RlRiwM9Jz8AJ452x5JhgT2d6NZoMxMOF2o3_IvcO1TreoZw/s1600/hardtimesfordreamers.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">fan art by lookgreatbegood from Tumblr</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">via facebook</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-69180484032455310232013-01-15T22:31:00.000-07:002013-01-16T00:35:12.320-07:00it gets better<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3x9yD9kCRUiAIWkZp5R1_xhq54lEMVRO8Bq4eiiBEAsejv5uzFift0EhQqr5wCn8hEZEkY1Xgp7wrzBwA-2q2PokQwoWBeOeiWD13WCumxiCfY6xaOOUNa3plgUzvz5qjdhJYzw/s1600/PD_0200+copy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="128" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3x9yD9kCRUiAIWkZp5R1_xhq54lEMVRO8Bq4eiiBEAsejv5uzFift0EhQqr5wCn8hEZEkY1Xgp7wrzBwA-2q2PokQwoWBeOeiWD13WCumxiCfY6xaOOUNa3plgUzvz5qjdhJYzw/s200/PD_0200+copy.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">there wasn't even digital color<br />
correction back then...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
on Christmas morning, my mom unwrapped a small box labeled as a photo negative scanner.<br />
"oh, well, we all know how much i love technology," she said wryly.<br />
after all these years, we have learned that.<br />
"no, that's not your present," i quickly said.<br />
"oh! is there something different inside the box?"<br />
being that my mom has employed many varied and creative methods of wrapping and disguising presents over the years, this was a very reasonable question.<br />
"um, no," i began. "the scanner isn't exactly your present. your present is that i'm going to go through all of our old family photos and scan them so that we can have them digitally."<br />
thankfully, she was actually quite happy about this being her present.<br />
<br />
and so, each night after the nephews were tucked in, i sat at the kitchen table and scanned hundreds and hundreds of old strips of film while my brother-in-law and i went through the <i>lord of the rings</i> trilogy. by the time i had to come back to texas, i had done the bulk of 1978-1995 and seen a lot of pictures i hadn't seen in years, if ever.<br />
<br />
no, a lot of the photos aren't that good, and when you're shooting on film, you can't check to make sure it was a good shot of someone, nor can you take a lot and just keep your favorite. most years would have a dozen pictures from Christmas, compared to this year where i think i took 87 on Christmas morning and then edited down to the best ones on my mac.<br />
<br />
but looking back on me and my family in the 80s and 90s was interesting. as i've gotten burned out and tired of and even a little annoyed at my nephews after only a few hours, i've developed new respect for my sister and all mothers and parents who do that all the time. and so i looked at those family moments in a new perspective, since i am now probably closer to my parents' age in those pictures than i am to myself at that time.<br />
<br />
it was hard sometimes. kids are annoying. obnoxious. ungrateful. i can say that because i know i was. me and my brother and sister fought with each other. me taking advantage of my little brother or bugged by my sister. things got broken or the dog ran off because no one was keeping an eye on her and huskies are born to explore. and life is just hard and unglamorous most of the time. in a very real sense, looking over these pictures left me very grateful that my parents didn't give up in any number of ways that they could have.<br />
<br />
<br />
my family is now spread out in four part all over the united states, all with individual lives. but everyone was able to come home for Christmas this year, something i took for granted only a few years ago. there were ten different stockings hung by the fireplace and the house was a home, warm and full. there are no estranged siblings and there were no fights. i daresay that everyone would agree that this was one of the best Christmases we've had (in part because i didn't screw it up.)<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguZgV5siJGdvTL4HoFefnJfyZBSkcNfAC1b0UkzyLbTh6bn-3bcOEqU5MjqzT76HLHjQeOFk_ROfhRJ9PouVeJRfYbT6qYFONSxLqwukcErPJmbtyuhyjlVdKWKKdXjVDlzGH8FA/s1600/IMG_3674.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguZgV5siJGdvTL4HoFefnJfyZBSkcNfAC1b0UkzyLbTh6bn-3bcOEqU5MjqzT76HLHjQeOFk_ROfhRJ9PouVeJRfYbT6qYFONSxLqwukcErPJmbtyuhyjlVdKWKKdXjVDlzGH8FA/s200/IMG_3674.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
and i wish i could step back into one of those kodak negatives and show that family a few of the pictures from last month. not only would they be amazed with digital photography, but i'd want them to know to not give up, because they will make it. the trials will pass, the stresses lighten, and the questions will be answered. it'll work out. really well, actually.<br />
<br />
i can't do that. but i can remind myself of that. that as i'm fighting through grad school, wanting to do well in a competitive industry, and wondering if we'll ever have to make room for a new stocking next to mine on the fireplace, yes, things don't stay the same forever.<br />
and if you stick with it, it does get better.<br />
<br />
post script: in case anyone out there has been thinking that they should get around to scanning their old pictures, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Pandigital-Photolink-One-Touch-PANSCN05-x6-Inches/dp/B0035WTCTU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1358321595&sr=8-1&keywords=pandigital+photo+scanner">here's</a> the one i used. it's $30 and i've done over 3,000 pictures without any problem.--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-47488715615788158952013-01-13T17:53:00.001-07:002013-01-13T17:53:15.882-07:0033<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdqRIybsLr6EEpINrCRuNdtvsKSrqfTtn6SkyCeIoDiTdXf1gG1rXSIaeWXT1-gOyebtgFVFyl_LDqhHr8oYIfnlmUSNeO9QHoj-5rmRmWanopMvP7352js3pzMRANt2kumOrRVA/s1600/mellon+collie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdqRIybsLr6EEpINrCRuNdtvsKSrqfTtn6SkyCeIoDiTdXf1gG1rXSIaeWXT1-gOyebtgFVFyl_LDqhHr8oYIfnlmUSNeO9QHoj-5rmRmWanopMvP7352js3pzMRANt2kumOrRVA/s200/mellon+collie.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">there's a song called "thirty-three"<br />and another called "1979." that's<br />kind of my album right now, i guess</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
a <a href="http://yousaidyoudbakeusacake.blogspot.com/2012/09/25.html">few months ago</a> i wrote about how i still act like i'm 25 and, for all intents and purposes, i may as well be.<br />
the truth of it is that i am thirty-three years old. and my self-described "by the book" bishop felt it was time that i "transition" into a family ward. i smiled a little when he cited how the age gap gets bigger and it can make some of the younger girls feel a little uncomfortable, since cassidy is arguably my best friend at church and i think she'll be 20 this year. so i managed to talk myself in to amnesty until the end of the year. today, after twelve years, seven wards, and a whole lot of sunday school lessons, i went to a family ward.<br />
<br />
i knew half a dozen couples from the ysa ward and after sacrament meeting i leaned forward and said hi to a couple.<br />
"jeff! what are you doing here?"<br />
"i'm in the ward now."<br />
"DID YOU GET MARRIED??"<br />
"not quite."<br />
"you're engaged??"<br />
"kicked out."<br />
<br />
if getting married is referred to as "graduating" from a singles ward, i think of myself as having my g.e.d.<br />
<br />
still, it's a friendly ward. in addition to the people i knew already, i had three or four people, generally in the borderline-overly-friendly-elderly-person group, introduce themselves to me before the service even started. that was nice and i think it'll be fine here. i did smile a little when one friend from church texted that she missed me and that i should still come to institute (which was my plan, anyway.) the sunday school president texted me also, saying that he missed me.<br />
<br />
but, like i said, i'm 33 now. one of my friends that i grew up with in fargo was just called into the bishopric there and another is a high counsellor in the stake. time goes on, we grow up.<br />
<br />
and while i'll always be <i>me</i>, i'm trying to grow up in some ways. <a href="http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/brethren-we-have-work-to-do?lang=eng">elder christofferson's talk</a> from last october's priesthood session was my favorite of the conference, a whole talk around the idea of "arise from the dust my sons, and be men." this line stuck with me:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
In an observation that is too often accurate, one university professor remarked, “The men come into class with their backward baseball caps and [their lame] the ‘word processor ate my homework’ excuses. Meanwhile, the women are checking their day planners and asking for recommendations for law school.”</blockquote>
and it just prodded me to straighten up a bit and take my last (hopefully) year of school a little more seriously. i spent yesterday looking at my finances and am working to keep better track of where my money goes. i'm putting more thought into what i eat and going running every couple of nights (and loving my new ipod.)<br />
<br />
there's a part of me that will always be 25 (or 17) at heart.<br />
i like that about me.<br />
but i'm growing up as well. and i like that part, too.--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-84941960257585264422013-01-11T21:24:00.002-07:002013-01-11T21:24:18.296-07:00nauvoo<i>i originally intended to post this on Christmas eve.</i><br />
<i>i'm just now getting to it.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
december 24, 2012 3:34 a.m. (so technically it's Christmas day)<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha2BoEie-vBV9kL_GnvL6rXWFJI3T449TnNwKG-i898PBymFEH5P65E2fMxjVufwkbeATHWVbOWtmzK0ZNZKgWkVc0CIq5NuqmAwNimBJ-uDH97UTca_ESL3KUhDJMk-o6-ZXSBA/s1600/IMG_3484.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha2BoEie-vBV9kL_GnvL6rXWFJI3T449TnNwKG-i898PBymFEH5P65E2fMxjVufwkbeATHWVbOWtmzK0ZNZKgWkVc0CIq5NuqmAwNimBJ-uDH97UTca_ESL3KUhDJMk-o6-ZXSBA/s320/IMG_3484.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
everyone is home.<br />
<br />
i used to find it a little odd when friends would talk about how their whole family would be coming home for Christmas that year. that's what you do at Christmas. why wouldn't your whole family come home?<br />
<br />
but then life went on. my sister got married but brady came home and the family was a little bigger, not smaller (which was nice, since i remember the three of us getting home the year before and it seeming a little... stale?) then there was a little nephew to join the year after. but growing families mean stretching a young family budget and becky and brady weren't able to come home one year.<br />
<br />
last year tim and lyndsie came home, but becky and her family celebrated out in seattle. me and tim and lynds had a good time and made the most of it, but still wasn't the same. it's how life goes. and soon it was a year and a half since i had seen my sister and her family. i used to see them every week.<br />
<br />
but tonight becky and brady and caleb and isaac and annie flew into salt lake. i hadn't seen caleb for about a third of his life, yet my time with him for the first two years of his life imprinted me well, because he was thrilled to see uncle jeff again. and his younger brother, as with everything else, did the same.<br />
<br />
a few hours later my dad and i were back at the small fargo airport, hugging my brother and his wife. and every room in the house was again full.<br />
<br />
once the little kids were in bed, the big kids were up for a several more hours, talking and laughing and wrapping presents. i revealed that mom and i had bought four nerf(-like) dart guns for us to unwrap and play with tomorrow morning and, in our own "gift the magi" way, becky said that she'd bought little dart guns for her boys. so that should be a good time.<br />
<br />
now, everyone is asleep. i've wrapped my dad's present to my mom and helped my mom set out my her present to my dad. we've helped santa fill ten stocking hung by the fireplace and becky has promised that she'll hold the boys from waking me until 8:00 if she can.<br />
<br />
<br />
this fall i took an institute class on the writings of isaiah. we spent a lot of time on chapters 52-53, probably the most well-known sections of the book. isaiah 52:7 begins with<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace;</i></blockquote>
my teacher told us that the hebrew word for "beautiful" in that verse is the word <i>nauvoo</i>. it means not only "beautiful" but "suitable." the root connotes "properly to be at home, to be pleasant or suitable," and carries the idea of being at home, being satisfied.<br />
<br />
tonight, with my whole family together for Christmas, that is how i feel.<br />
at home.<br />
satisfied.<br />
nauvoo.--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-47114508226715248052012-12-22T22:12:00.000-07:002012-12-23T01:36:11.568-07:00after hours<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVaZulkfUiS4pC98hDXPrUxf3mXxmtkLg75qcENZuLKC7qMYbL4E-3k28OXjQ0nv5mhsa8hrbznzz1_ycZzt-8i-R0jM_ajLIuLcxorAlwYtj62FIyCpcEnTExT1tu3v_hZ9Oo2w/s1600/harry+potter-+dept+of+mysteries.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="119" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVaZulkfUiS4pC98hDXPrUxf3mXxmtkLg75qcENZuLKC7qMYbL4E-3k28OXjQ0nv5mhsa8hrbznzz1_ycZzt-8i-R0jM_ajLIuLcxorAlwYtj62FIyCpcEnTExT1tu3v_hZ9Oo2w/s200/harry+potter-+dept+of+mysteries.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
maxx is my mom's cat. he's long-haired and orange, making him look like hermione's cat, "crookshanks." and while he's not my favorite cat we've ever had (that would be moke,) he is certainly the friendliest and most social. at night, he seems to enjoy exploring the house when it's quiet and everyone else has gone to bed.<br />
so do i.<br />
<br />
i love this house.<br />
i like sitting by the hutch in the dining room, where just a enough light spills from it to make the room visible, but everything i still in shadows. i like looking at the kitchen and rewinding back through time in my memory, remembering how it's looked and changed over the years and the adventures that have happened therein. while i was on my mission in japan, my mom remodeled the whole kitchen and dining room to the point that, when i was sent pictures from my sister's high school graduation party, i didn't know it was our house until i recognized the dishwasher.<br />
<br />
i love looking out the sliding door window at the soccer fields behind our house, and how the snow-covered ground sparkles like gold under the orange sodium-vapor lights of the parking lot. i feel bad for my future wife, missing these quiet moments with me.<br />
<br />
i like that i'm no longer scared of the utility room. growing up, just being in there seemed a little creepy; if monsters were going to live in our house (or, as i became a teenager, "aliens"), this is where they would be. i'm now confident in my physical skills enough that i no longer fear the supernatural in that room and like looking around. so much of my life history is still contained on those shelves, it's almost like being in the ministry of magic's department of mysteries.<br />
<br />
just off from that room is "the corner", a spot under the stairs where we were sent to sit if we misbehaved. i hated sitting under there.<br />
<br />
it's late now and i need to get to bed, but i do enjoy these quiet times with just me and my house.--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-58995381551622054352012-12-11T21:11:00.003-07:002012-12-11T21:13:32.429-07:00rumours<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuD6ZjVZfG_RXFYzW32pzGhOF02BnKWlwgsORx81VG9irrcvNlEQkv8zDPznNStGbfPYo_geyAdagj76dUzGHN_hcqXOS7aDZ3Our3Qt_bv314z_jvaP97Y2dVG85njm2q6vtbEw/s1600/IMG_9437.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuD6ZjVZfG_RXFYzW32pzGhOF02BnKWlwgsORx81VG9irrcvNlEQkv8zDPznNStGbfPYo_geyAdagj76dUzGHN_hcqXOS7aDZ3Our3Qt_bv314z_jvaP97Y2dVG85njm2q6vtbEw/s200/IMG_9437.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">yeah</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
lots of little notes for posts jotted down, but none that i really feel the need to write right now. and i usually write when i want to.<br />
or, more correctly, <i>have</i> to.<br />
i miss that passion.<br />
but you can't really force it, sadly.<br />
<br />
it comes and goes in waves, as they say.--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-62639614036093985812012-12-09T22:45:00.000-07:002012-12-10T00:45:39.005-07:00diving into the wave<div style="text-align: right;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzk_D_qEeaioCRamMKMc0bqwj94CfLjhT-3_w32J6rjXIN3Aqe7KeNrrRXTz4KE2jJnPYUdQQtapHR9O4U4gTaCsPp-8CrIQdir1n8R8r-9HSg70cap1dLoUYlzn70ujps9pmYqQ/s1600/charliebrown-+linus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzk_D_qEeaioCRamMKMc0bqwj94CfLjhT-3_w32J6rjXIN3Aqe7KeNrrRXTz4KE2jJnPYUdQQtapHR9O4U4gTaCsPp-8CrIQdir1n8R8r-9HSg70cap1dLoUYlzn70ujps9pmYqQ/s200/charliebrown-+linus.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
i'd been thinking about my talk all week and had mulled around some ideas but still didn't have anything written down by yesterday evening. and instead of writing a talk, i went to the rec center instead.<br />
<br />
and so when i sat down two hours before church this morning, i still wasn't able to focus much and was not really in the mood to write a talk. but i kind of had to. i couldn't even polish it during sacrament meeting like i sometimes do with my lesson because, well, that was when i would be speaking.<br />
<br />
having taught sunday school for more or less five years straight and being up in front of people every other week (or every week last summer), i'm rarely asked to give talks. i think i've given three in that time. one i would like to forget, one was my "farewell" when i moved from utah, and i can't remember a third, i'm just guessing there's another one in there. so i really don't know how to prepare a talk. and so i showed up with several pages of notes, not sure if i would only get through a fraction of them or if i would breeze through it all in four of my ten suggested minutes.<br />
<br />
sitting on the stand in my Christmas green bow tie, the relief society president texted me a good luck and i confessed to her that i was feeling very nervous and was having difficulty focusing on anything.<br />
<br />
i was given the suggested to speak on "Christ in our lives," which was broad enough to allow me to speak on just about anything i wanted. and that sort of vague liberty can be a little paralyzing, not knowing which direction to go in. so, i did the best i could think of: i gave the talk that i wanted to hear.<br />
<br />
i had numerous people come up to make and thank me for my talk afterward and throughout the day, which was encouraging.<br />
the thing is, i mostly just quoted the <i>charlie brown Christmas special</i> and read a lot of psalms.<br />
as jaime noted right before i left utah, "it's all about the psalms."--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-72951547368852771392012-12-08T22:13:00.000-07:002012-12-09T00:13:46.959-07:00little lion mani guess everyone needs a nemesis, and i've finally found mine. this guy:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0AcpwJvOVUx7OV0ocCQPiURR-FqaBqu7vLY__BEezdW9QPYOfLqVRFA5ldFu24bQtCLDv8-MvBmM-hROO1skV7LGjcXd22fREmJIzJFYmRrzoaPzR4L69UkZLh0C8SEKBpx3hUA/s1600/IMG_20121208_113342.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0AcpwJvOVUx7OV0ocCQPiURR-FqaBqu7vLY__BEezdW9QPYOfLqVRFA5ldFu24bQtCLDv8-MvBmM-hROO1skV7LGjcXd22fREmJIzJFYmRrzoaPzR4L69UkZLh0C8SEKBpx3hUA/s400/IMG_20121208_113342.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
that little pony is a total punk. and every time we go riding, i have to spent 15-20 minutes locked in mind games with him before i can get the rope around his neck and lead him to the stables so that we can take the horses in the pasture. (the rope isn't visible because i'm holding him very close to make sure he doesn't get out.)<br />
<br />
this morning i realized that i was out late last night with a group of friends at northgate (the place--and the only place--to spend a friday night at a&m) and was out riding horses this morning. it's official: i live in texas now.<br />
<br />
and it's not that bad.--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-73847943525514231152012-12-01T22:48:00.000-07:002012-12-11T21:15:22.266-07:00roses<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFH3g13LgSKkVT2_HNBzhFfhtEzHsYqpdlpYVUokpwaqX4Dh87On4cra8C4AkKxfiw5FAySLBP848AW0zFYVqFVWSlfNrOGGq7SFKXVKPwmDSAOmfXZnVP-ojdh5xIJCloywenQQ/s1600/beauty+and+the+beast-+rose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFH3g13LgSKkVT2_HNBzhFfhtEzHsYqpdlpYVUokpwaqX4Dh87On4cra8C4AkKxfiw5FAySLBP848AW0zFYVqFVWSlfNrOGGq7SFKXVKPwmDSAOmfXZnVP-ojdh5xIJCloywenQQ/s320/beauty+and+the+beast-+rose.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>God gave us memory that we might have roses in december.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
j.m. barrie</div>
--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21792850.post-60145759233236988472012-11-30T22:21:00.001-07:002012-11-30T22:26:43.935-07:00boston in the fallso it's been three weeks since i've posted here.<br />
yeah.<br />
<br />
anyway, i went to new hampshire last week for thanksgiving with some pretty great friends.<br />
that was cool.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjolIlbZI3TbBbnHSiH3JF-O8ce1Sy6ZhebAX2zOAgpLGAUW5eFiDUJaGHPqKIGZBvyQfXPatkvv1fHfPC9VpXPNBxysn5OtNYE7qkAlKEUMjUlshbkFg0n6SyZD0Oj-p1MXHLgw/s1600/IMG_8599.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjolIlbZI3TbBbnHSiH3JF-O8ce1Sy6ZhebAX2zOAgpLGAUW5eFiDUJaGHPqKIGZBvyQfXPatkvv1fHfPC9VpXPNBxysn5OtNYE7qkAlKEUMjUlshbkFg0n6SyZD0Oj-p1MXHLgw/s400/IMG_8599.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">she didn't want to be with daddy or even mommy, but "father goose."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPptHBX9TStXeCxe5n55Inx-gBW5KW3HkV23CnCJA81MdbF2Bc64H6IXoitpZSE3k3oIDrS9vaUyiHGoHntdGAgyvXYuvZlF-4fTBFvOiUPkmhx4HkSl2_bCc7CBZ-QvhdSmPITw/s1600/IMG_8605.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPptHBX9TStXeCxe5n55Inx-gBW5KW3HkV23CnCJA81MdbF2Bc64H6IXoitpZSE3k3oIDrS9vaUyiHGoHntdGAgyvXYuvZlF-4fTBFvOiUPkmhx4HkSl2_bCc7CBZ-QvhdSmPITw/s400/IMG_8605.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">including a large stash of stephen's hot chocolate.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYfuCVAI2kK-Ln_sNdpMkVG-FkZP6A3Oc4uG2ml2fwI0gFKaedtQguc11KyVlC9X5xrDhKErEk1INAPS5UdyY9z0gCemYVacyQpBGAMkrKmIAqjgD-jnr5VWyPxRJYunKibgFQ_w/s1600/IMG_8622.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYfuCVAI2kK-Ln_sNdpMkVG-FkZP6A3Oc4uG2ml2fwI0gFKaedtQguc11KyVlC9X5xrDhKErEk1INAPS5UdyY9z0gCemYVacyQpBGAMkrKmIAqjgD-jnr5VWyPxRJYunKibgFQ_w/s400/IMG_8622.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">apparently they don't sell frosted animal crackers<br />in utah anymore, so this was a big deal.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRvQkhkpn1HuiQaYm1gqKJqw3jeCmyEe5kD5uA_JH5t0kBSrd3YT3VDkaIQlWxmheCUVyT-PDslkn1JUmHX08rXidpoumeQ4T2ljnGcqtQuqGPWle26xKjADZanHcLiSHo9axTuA/s1600/IMG_8624.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRvQkhkpn1HuiQaYm1gqKJqw3jeCmyEe5kD5uA_JH5t0kBSrd3YT3VDkaIQlWxmheCUVyT-PDslkn1JUmHX08rXidpoumeQ4T2ljnGcqtQuqGPWle26xKjADZanHcLiSHo9axTuA/s400/IMG_8624.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">i'd explain that this is kirk with a turkey on his arm,<br />
but i think that's kind of redundant.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBbbqfU7mrk2C0nWtMkCUBnjW5_WyHEKNC4tg1rE5ty20fsIlGeicq6Ntl7AGUBH8txoGY6ZXl-kEGX_bn03VlDWXUoAp6cNf5xGBMbUqabK96Yxb6LlXiV154HAOg8O9QxxaVHg/s1600/IMG_8631.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBbbqfU7mrk2C0nWtMkCUBnjW5_WyHEKNC4tg1rE5ty20fsIlGeicq6Ntl7AGUBH8txoGY6ZXl-kEGX_bn03VlDWXUoAp6cNf5xGBMbUqabK96Yxb6LlXiV154HAOg8O9QxxaVHg/s400/IMG_8631.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">joe and his pregnant wife.<br />she turned out to be cool and fit in with our group.<br />and she slapped me.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8V5vkWkli9AK_0Y98GSu7viXA-l3TQruEsa7KyqBu4IJh7pU3PUfyyA94Bk62Am-esry4iKH-oDRMl-3rfo7wAjYN09Mh-LKyUdYFB-edO23QMXoU0RAykdHFIr-5E2DJ8pAqHw/s1600/IMG_8640.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8V5vkWkli9AK_0Y98GSu7viXA-l3TQruEsa7KyqBu4IJh7pU3PUfyyA94Bk62Am-esry4iKH-oDRMl-3rfo7wAjYN09Mh-LKyUdYFB-edO23QMXoU0RAykdHFIr-5E2DJ8pAqHw/s400/IMG_8640.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">so this is maine.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvxse2cZrqvPLcld4b5fPRE8eOhf1WiRYlCGT1vyPa_FAowgS-NXgnLsT-FOP21shAG1PMc1mBxLXNw2jiIDigxjfxX8SuiEampGH_epQM1_oq4YOIRLh4Ocr4HEKctrwuJW6WRA/s1600/IMG_8658.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvxse2cZrqvPLcld4b5fPRE8eOhf1WiRYlCGT1vyPa_FAowgS-NXgnLsT-FOP21shAG1PMc1mBxLXNw2jiIDigxjfxX8SuiEampGH_epQM1_oq4YOIRLh4Ocr4HEKctrwuJW6WRA/s400/IMG_8658.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">goose rocks.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiJXLqHVw73LLtmPKa3ZpADT25V-LM-FpCEQXx5hyphenhyphenDNjAqygToNnriIZrGmB5I5otjbQqaTLc4q-yb4oqTQrfvxlDwGiSxzmsNKMy6WLA3mamPhSLf1HT2GPQ_9r31qIin64HIqg/s1600/IMG_8659.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiJXLqHVw73LLtmPKa3ZpADT25V-LM-FpCEQXx5hyphenhyphenDNjAqygToNnriIZrGmB5I5otjbQqaTLc4q-yb4oqTQrfvxlDwGiSxzmsNKMy6WLA3mamPhSLf1HT2GPQ_9r31qIin64HIqg/s400/IMG_8659.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">boston. : )</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje-eBEpLebTvFi0wy0iSKegd5dNhdyzEOXujWTH84kQRqAW1DsG6aqR20aHYFGTHNbKeZKVV7PqzTGLoWRKNpQ3jaidMhALhKNJlAIJFy9ON3B2pTxF5c0CWX2Lf-6cQZPxcLE6w/s1600/IMG_8679.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje-eBEpLebTvFi0wy0iSKegd5dNhdyzEOXujWTH84kQRqAW1DsG6aqR20aHYFGTHNbKeZKVV7PqzTGLoWRKNpQ3jaidMhALhKNJlAIJFy9ON3B2pTxF5c0CWX2Lf-6cQZPxcLE6w/s400/IMG_8679.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">this guy was absolutely amazing and a great<br />
showman. we estimated that he brought in $100-200<br />
on this show and he deserved every dollar.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAiP9Ym87CGQOXuXf3zX9omhnZSY34Ps_i5xXPENn_9VrAb6B_F-3UH8yT6HDLP8BDMHeN1r6Ejs4eJbYRUoP7d6dYiM31KKm9QAwD2H39JutMG3c-IfFiH2eJ8spjUPm6s_HKXQ/s1600/IMG_8690.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAiP9Ym87CGQOXuXf3zX9omhnZSY34Ps_i5xXPENn_9VrAb6B_F-3UH8yT6HDLP8BDMHeN1r6Ejs4eJbYRUoP7d6dYiM31KKm9QAwD2H39JutMG3c-IfFiH2eJ8spjUPm6s_HKXQ/s400/IMG_8690.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">me and sam adams: identical twins.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKn9iQaKAhknZSuyu1fQ4jXWeTAC_k8Q60Ib3yIOc_86yFOFGEGVMJGLK5QckcMz7Uv9d-CveZSr-CO_x_obtgRwCz6MbbY3TRYJ508iwdq7ZQKid7lXzULS6eg8n1jNmOhzfo1A/s1600/IMG_8693.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKn9iQaKAhknZSuyu1fQ4jXWeTAC_k8Q60Ib3yIOc_86yFOFGEGVMJGLK5QckcMz7Uv9d-CveZSr-CO_x_obtgRwCz6MbbY3TRYJ508iwdq7ZQKid7lXzULS6eg8n1jNmOhzfo1A/s400/IMG_8693.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">at the holocaust memorial. couldn't resist snapping the picture.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi14rbNFsylDF-O9Dw-kkvPAzRIx7xnjZoikOQoDZ2w1u-l5zWfwgHeirHAaloydcPuj252LSOX9F7cQwXQrJkVBHgwMS0YOe4ohQxMMAaSOLXodh_ZA5yZdz2kEZv_Z5hU9k98qw/s1600/IMG_8696.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi14rbNFsylDF-O9Dw-kkvPAzRIx7xnjZoikOQoDZ2w1u-l5zWfwgHeirHAaloydcPuj252LSOX9F7cQwXQrJkVBHgwMS0YOe4ohQxMMAaSOLXodh_ZA5yZdz2kEZv_Z5hU9k98qw/s400/IMG_8696.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">even the back alleys in boston are awesome.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZUYTsXU9O7lIeTlDky5I1GXWyDrtYDIi3UTlAqK0dCQL3QJlXHVGAfT9dbl_h4WfPyg6D-xu1T-0U_0gWvmdMlodx9zNbpmO9DbrO5gfafIH6NsA9El0VPG1UkfMkYAF970Z9VQ/s1600/IMG_8699.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZUYTsXU9O7lIeTlDky5I1GXWyDrtYDIi3UTlAqK0dCQL3QJlXHVGAfT9dbl_h4WfPyg6D-xu1T-0U_0gWvmdMlodx9zNbpmO9DbrO5gfafIH6NsA9El0VPG1UkfMkYAF970Z9VQ/s400/IMG_8699.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">my favorite picture of the trip.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNWb-bIE3Eeq14HrWN_KnT1EXvTk5ptGg3L6jRSG3mgPZIJ37YRmUWWh8qU2KMCi8epfhrpMzPELX1NiJQujqfwYNX5tNSLZapLTPnYavxkisj1VQsh9rQc8jpp7_9-6yZjiJQrw/s1600/IMG_8703.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNWb-bIE3Eeq14HrWN_KnT1EXvTk5ptGg3L6jRSG3mgPZIJ37YRmUWWh8qU2KMCi8epfhrpMzPELX1NiJQujqfwYNX5tNSLZapLTPnYavxkisj1VQsh9rQc8jpp7_9-6yZjiJQrw/s400/IMG_8703.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">we made it to harvard.<br />
wish i'd taken more pictures there. or even just looked around longer.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_cYjEdCj1_Y8hhHKIgGtNJB0Mrbgt3tkOEQJ55TlJ0m4STc0aMuDt14cply6nn0B1cZChnj7Z4TDC3kSWComNXarPzsozW2_scU8gr5n8COj4-q1LLyYvcwqLdBtHaWJ_XyIu-A/s1600/IMG_8707.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_cYjEdCj1_Y8hhHKIgGtNJB0Mrbgt3tkOEQJ55TlJ0m4STc0aMuDt14cply6nn0B1cZChnj7Z4TDC3kSWComNXarPzsozW2_scU8gr5n8COj4-q1LLyYvcwqLdBtHaWJ_XyIu-A/s400/IMG_8707.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">girls who wear shirts of skeletons in skirts are ok by me</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjME36_K7R40LlgzFj71F9nZdygQO5lc_LVCsNBpOVze7PomujGK1McTrs3SVOJyh46-LR3k9DUcgU4ozvUHltpakQFbX3GsoxYH4Y9Zu30roe-Vmw223jj03NpjZDdBKupF5c31w/s1600/IMG_8710.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjME36_K7R40LlgzFj71F9nZdygQO5lc_LVCsNBpOVze7PomujGK1McTrs3SVOJyh46-LR3k9DUcgU4ozvUHltpakQFbX3GsoxYH4Y9Zu30roe-Vmw223jj03NpjZDdBKupF5c31w/s400/IMG_8710.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">i still hope that we'll make movies one day.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
wish you could've been there.--jeff *http://www.blogger.com/profile/10924343100485992100noreply@blogger.com3